It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

I *never* like books like this, or so I thought. I find them corny, and I dislike what I (arrogantly) consider to be a very American lack of sophistication and intelligence. Turns out I was so wrong about this one. The expressive, sassy, “hey girl” prose is what makes it so good. It’s blunt, but it’s also deeply caring. Thank god, I didn’t feel lectured. That’s not what anyone needs when they’re hurting. AND it actually make me laugh out loud — and at times cry. That’s a sign of a good book. I’ve now been out of a relationship that ended suddenly and confusingly for just under a month. I was totally into the guy and thought everything was going well. (One of those, yep.) When I bought the book, I was admittedly already on my way to healing (at least managing to get out of bed for work, sleep for more than 4 hours a night, talk about things other than my ex, and not cry at absolutely everything). I had also been following the no contact rule, staying healthy, etc, but I wanted a boost. Something to validate my pain whilst giving me direction and encouragement. A tool to keep me on track. The book is semi-instructive, which is exactly what you need after a breakup. Too much analysis only pulls you into your own thoughts; instruction gets you focused on creating change and taking responsibility. Each chapter in the first section focuses on different negative post-breakup behaviours — from substance abuse and ex-stalking to focusing too much on the good times — and presents the advice needed to avoid or alleviate these via: an overall summary, “letters” from other women, and accounts from the authors of their own experiences. The mix of formats is good fun. The second part of the book helps you put all that advice into practice with a kind of action plan. If you’re really, really grieving and need to just be there right now (I did for those first two and a half weeks), maybe you won’t be ready for this. Buy it anyway for when you are so you can reach for it straight away. And if you’re already healing like I was, go for it. It’s so easy to consume. Hats of to the authors for getting the tone spot on for their audience. Enjoy and good luck xx

This book really helped me to open my eyes one day and everything (read: that jackass who disappeared from my life) what was on my mind became about 1000x smaller and actually not important. I ended up my long relationship (>10 years) and didn't suffer as much as after a year being with somebody with whom I thought things were just great and I felt so myself for the first time in my life. And so did he, apparently. Until one day out of nowhere he decided this is not his place to be here, he needed more space and moved out in 10min. In COVID full lockdown, stage 4. Yes that much of respect I had from him. And the Foxy-me would have closed that chapter of my life, turned around and started my real life. But somehow I was brainwashed I can't actually explain it differently. I was devastated, didn't go to work for weeks, didn't eat, drank like crazy, smoked like a dragon, cried, had permanent insomnia, lose lost of weight, isolated myself from people, ruined my health, and wait for it.... I still allowed myself to see him, to 'be with him' whenever he felt like it. We would see each other twice a week, then he would not talk to me for days between that, then we would see each other once a week, and then he was quiet. The silent days became longer and more profound. He would come whenever he wanted sex, sometimes I hated it but still agreed to it. He wasn't even sure if he loved me, blaming him being 'troubled' on how horrible he treated me. He made himself a victim in many peoples eyes, he was so troubled so broken yet he couldn't let me free. He couldn't do the one thing that he owed me. To tell me: this is over I'm sorry. Instead I heard: till I fix myself I can't be what you need. etc. My brain was on fire. My heart was broken yet full of false hopes. Yes you could ask: how did you allow this all? I ask myself this exact question today. But I was brainwashed by this narcissistic guy, who looking now from a perspective actually never really treated me right. The red lights were all over even at the beginning of our relationship. And also so was that deep gut feeling saying: you can't trust him, don't fell for him, don't lose yourself in this. He knew I had these worries as I told him and he worked through them to make me his and vulnerable. He cheated on me in the first two months of our relationship with his ex. Apologised said how much he loved me. Then there was more drama on that side. And more. And then the only good thing about everything was probably sex but well now thinking of it it wants even that good, I can find good sex elsewhere right? But while going through break up, there is time for drinking and time for this book. I didn't have it at the beginning of my agony. So I can't say if it would work, but I can definitely say that my best friend literally said the same things to me at the beginning what Greg said in this book and although it made sense and made me laugh a little bit, it was not the time for my brain to actually believe it. My brain was in denial, all I was thinking was that he would fix himself and things will be good again. We really live in some weird utopian state when hurt by somebody we loved. And I say it again here: loved. What we loved is gone, even if he/she comes back it is a different person and parallel life, we may not love that person anymore or we may longe for the past which will never come back with him/her or without them. So this book is great, it is witty, funny, I cried from laughter while reading it in two days. And I also felt a bit better about myself that I managed to not go crazy, Yes I let him treat me like dirty, I'm already embarrassed about that but I never went running after him, threatening him, spying, or asking his friends about his life, lurking around his place, telling him I need him to live, even though it felt like this for about 3 months. I wanted to be the better person. The stronger person. The one that values her life. The one that won't fell as low as to define my self-worth by some guy with no so hard d-^&%. So I suffered in silence with my closest friend and my sister far away from home (continents away) in COVID time. Until I read this book, and while reading it made pauses to think about everything what has happened (the good and the bad) and decided for myself: F that Sh. I don't deserve it, I'm a good person with so many great values. Yes, I still don't know what I want in my life but definitely not the last 5 months. I made many new friends literally randomly on the streets and we are still best buddies and growing stronger. I had to I had to break lockdown rules in order to stay sane, I had to reach out like in old days, find people, find my crowd and if I did it in COVId so can anyone. And I avoided Tinder by all means, but I made a few dates and nights with people I knew. First it was bad I couldn't trust anyone, count open up and even relax. But keep trying and ti will get better. I'm not ready for any relationship atm, what I'm ready for is to establish myself as a independent strong worthy woman and yes (Greg) I did changed my living room totally and yes it helped heaps! It is the oasis of calmness and looks like the Osho's meditating room/minimalistic freak/plant lover. Read this book with open heart and honesty.

came across this book last year, a couple of weeks after splitting from my boyfriend of five years. I wasn't expecting much, but I found myself really enjoying it. The friendly, reassuring writing style, advice and stories helped me to realise I wasn't alone and gave me a little comfort at a time when I was feeling very low. I even found myself highlighting certain passages in the book to refer to from time to time when I needed a boost. Highly recommended for the recently broken hearted.

I really needed this. Tells you everything you need to hear and covers all aspects/feelings you experience post breakup. It's written as if you are being told by a funny but incredibly honest friend. Breakups can be lonely times and reading a chapter every night was like speaking to a friend, so it's good if you (like me) weren't ready to speak about it to friends, or perhaps your friends don't give good advice/don't exist. It helped me so much, and I feel that it has sped up the healing process. It literally tells you what to do, gives example, tell you how to implement the advice into your life and has funny 'crazy ex' stories to make you laugh and feel better about yourself. I cannot recommend this book enough, and whenever I feel low I re-read certain chapters. I will honestly pass this down to my children, it's great. Arrived on estimated date and looked like new (no tear-stained pages)! Only issue with the book (for some) is that it is very much orientated towards being a girl who has been dumped, so maybe some guys will feel alienated but I'm sure you can get used to it.

Good stuff - bought for a friend who'd been dumped. "He's just not that in to you" is better

I genuinely thought my life was over when someone handed me this book, and I cannot tell you how much I would recommend it. It is lighthearted, entertaining but really 100% addresses the issues we are all going through at that time. If I did not have this book I am not sure how I would have coped, it certainly would have taken me a lot longer and would have been much harder. It gives you simple advice, encouragement and examples of other people who have been through the same thing and come out OK. It gave me hope in a time of need and for that sole reason it is worth every single penny I paid for it. I have since bought 4 of these and given to friends who say exactly the same thing. Suitable for women, but also men (as long as you don't mind it has been written as if they are talking to a woman!) I think really of any age. Don't be put off by the colour/design thinking it is for teens - it can apply at any age.

I don’t often write reviews, but this book was so good I just had to pass on my thoughts to others. I read this book from cover to cover in one day and I just can’t believe how helpful it was. There was humour thrown in, but mostly I spent the first have of the book thinking it had been written about me and my break up. I could relate to every story!! The advice given was so helpful (brutal at times) and it a comfort to know that what I was feeling was normal and that so many others had gone through the same emotions as me. Although I read this in one sitting, I often went back to a couple of specific chapters time after time when I needed to remind myself of things. I can’t rate this book highly enough and I think after my friends, this book was what helped me through and allowed me to be in the happy place that I am in 6 months after my breakup

This year I saw the end of my 3 year relationship with my partner. We was engaged, planning a wedding and I considered this man my soul mate. Sadly he fell out of love with me and back in love with his ex wife. It was difficult and a very hard pill to swallow. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement. I wanted him back, I cried for him, I wanted to be 'friends', I may have turned up where he turned up....My friends were the best I could ask for but I could see them getting tired of telling me the same stuff over and over. I decided that enough was enough and I needed to change my mindset. I saw this book and liked the comedy aspect of it. Pros: It changes your way of thinking It shows that there is life after a break up Outlines the does and don'ts and tells you why they are the do's and don'ts. Cons: Too American at times, I don't need to be told I am Superfox or 'fabulous' 100 times. Of course all women are but when dealing with a breakup, I don't need to be told this... A bit old fashioned, I understand they are writing from the heartbreaks all the way back in the 90's but I got the impression the book never got away from that. 'Change your number' is not as easy as it use to be in the 90's... It is aimed at the younger audience. What I will say Is that it changed how I thought. It made me understand that the no contact rule is the best rule if you are hurting and need space. You're not the only one who has been through the same heartbreak and most importantly It gets you to see that there is plenty of other suiters out there....being hung up on an ex actually stops you seeing those suiters. Did this book work? Yes, it made me endure the no contact rule, I reconnect with friends and mostly importantly I am dating again and don't feel guilty. I liked the book and it's one I shall keep and give out to others if they should ever suffer a breakup.

LOVED this book! I've recently been through a devastating break-up and came across this gem on Kindle. I absolutely devoured it within the first day or so. Currently reading it a second time just to let it sink in. This book deals with break-ups in a compassionate, understanding and most importantly - humorous way and when you're feeling like crap that's a great recipe to soothe the hurt. It's obviously not a quick fix, but this book contains fantastic advice from cover to cover and is written by two amazing people who fully understand what it's like to suffer the pain of a break-up. Honestly, I would and will recommend this one to all of my ladies!! Has to be #1 in my break-up booklist. (Thank you, thank you, thank you, Greg and Amiira. This is exactly what my poor, shattered heart needed.)

Before I review this book...I would like to get a major pet peeve off my chest. I read some of the reviews before I started writing this and came across a review where the person had not read the whole book yet wrote a review. I would like to say that a review is where you read the WHOLE BOOK and then criticize it all you like...not read it halfway through and feel that writing a review is credible. It is not. The point of a review is to offer up your point of view which is not possible if you haven't read the whole book. Now that I have said that...I thought this book was terrific. Whether you dislike Greg using the word Superfox or not...the book was insightful, funny, compassionate and didn't offer the same platitudes or psychobabble that one encounters in other books of this genre. Greg and Amiira did not write this book from some lofty ivory tower. They have been in the trenches like a lot uf us. Greg drank and chased after his ex until he finally saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel and got into AA. Amiira was married and while not as destructive as Greg...her pain, misery [and sleepless nights] are nearly as poignant as Greg's. I have read this book three times and found something new to hold on to each time I read it. Some of the elements I particularly liked in this book start with the questions to Greg and his answers...sometimes tart ["how about pretending not to be completey crazy" he says to one woman in the throes of...well..acting completely crazy] were always enlightening. I also enjoyed "The Best Worst News", and "What I Did Wrong" where Greg and Amiira share...what they did wrong. "Psycho Confessionals" was actually great fun to read because while a lot of us have gone off the deep end when we are going through a break up...not all of us have gone to the extent some of these women have. I have offered up a silent prayer of thanks that while I thought I might go nuts...I never showed up at his door acting like it. One very smart idea that Greg and Amiira came up with was after giving advice on what you should do in the recovery proces... and while you are in the midst of moaning to yourself that you can't possibly do that...they offer up "How The Hell Am I Supposed To Do That" because they understand exactly how hard it is. My story ends a little differently because my boyfriend and I actually got back together. But here is where the book is a treasure for another reason. Instead of spending my time when I am not with my boyfriend...obsessing about my boyfriend [something I have done in every past relationship] I am using all the breakup rules they have as if we had really broken up and have re-connected with old friends...started exercising again and am completely re-organizing my life...all off which had fallen completely by the wayside as my concentration was centered around him. If my boyfriend and I had not gotten back together...I would have been able to handle it without going completely to pieces [after I initially went completely to pieces] and the fact that we have gotten back together...I am now handling the relationship and my life differently...thanks to this book. In my opinion...this is the definitive book on breaking up and I would like to thank both Greg and Amiira for helping me tremendously both during during the break up and how I have handled myself since. So to my surprise...this book actually works on more then one level.

This is a very good book, especially for women who are going through a breakup. It's practical, there is no overthinking, no overanalyzing, it's about simple accepting things the way they are! I bet not even our friends are that sincere to us as this book is.

I recently went through a very tough breakup which - for me - came totally unexpected after many years of relationship. I thought he was my soulmate. He was not. And this book opens your eyes in ways that no other book does: Most books about breakups are written by women, who don't really understand men - lets face it. Then, there are all those horrible "win your ex back" books with questionable manipulation strategies that will only prolong your already unbearable suffering. Forget all that. For me, it was important to understand the male perspective. So i bought this book. Yes, it was published in 2006 and might be a bit "old fashioned" sometimes. Someone else mentioned earlier "it's too american" (i don't need to be called "hot superfox" every few pages) but hey, its funny. Greg is VERY direct (while being funny at the same time) and this is good: because the sooner you accept the reality the sooner you are ready to MOVE ON and not be stuck in the past. Examples of Greg's eye-opening sentences: If you think "He was THE ONE". Greg's answer to that is: He wasn't The One because he chose to leave you. The right person will choose you over and over again. If you are thinking of all reasons why you should still be together. Greg's answer to that is: The person you loved took a long good look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship and said 'No thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere'. Dear ladies out there, accept the reality, focus on yourself and your wellbeing, move on. This shall pass.

F A V O U R I T E.