How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age

This book has been around for several decades. I remember my dad reading this book when he was taking a job promotion class in sales. He told me this book was a really good way to break the ice and get strangers to feel comfortable in their own skin. He was right. This book is an excellent read, helping a shy or awkward person to adjust more freely and fully around complete strangers. It shows you how to positively approach a customer and make them feel like they've known you all their life. I gave this book 5 stars, but it deserves a lot more.

Too may hard words and complex sentences makes understanding hard. Nevertheless, the core messages conveyed are very useful. I haven’t read the original one though.

Dale Carnegie could be credited (or blamed depending on your perspective) for the glut of motivational books that have been published since 1936. How to Win Friends and Influence People was released that year and was rated by Time magazine in 2011 as one of their top one hundred books of all time.The sagacious investor, Warren Buffett, has only one diploma hanging in his office, his certificate of Dale Carnegie training.The version I am reviewing here follows the format of the original 1936 edition, but does more than simply use twenty-first century examples; it adapts the time-honoured principles to the age of the social megaphone. If there ever was a time when Carnegie’s principles need to be taken seriously, it must certainly be now.The first principle, “If you want honey, don’t kick over the hive,” has been retitled “Bury your boomerangs.” The boomerangs are the things you say and write that when aimed at others, spin back and hit you. An article from the Huffington Post quoted in the book describes thirteen Facebook posts that got their authors dismissed from their jobs. Googling “dismissed from my job because of Facebook” yields fourty-six million more. In 1936 an unwarranted letter might have been seen by the recipient and a few others, all of whom might be appeased, today try retracting what you tweeted or said in front of a TV microphone you believed was off.Carnegie counselled: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.Most people can distinguish between what is nothing more than flattery and what is an affirmation. Flattery is telling the person what they want to hear, affirmation requires more thought, requires seeing the person well enough to sense what to affirm. For that reason affirmation can have the life-changing impact that flattery never has. This is Carnegie’s second essential principle of engagement, “Affirm What’s Good.”In the section on making a lasting, positive impression on others, Carnegie opens with the call to “take an interest in other’s interest.” Quoting a piece of research conducted by the New York Telephone Company in the 1930’s the most frequently used word in conversations was the personal pronoun “I.” The significance of self-interest has not and is unlikely to change.The former editor of the New Republic and political blogger, Andrew Sullivan, invited readers to submit shots of the world just outside their homes. This interest in other’s interest went on to become the centrepiece for the Atlantic Monthly’s online strategy, and enhanced his personal following. People are attracted to people who care about what interests them.Carnegie placed great store on the value to relationship of smiling. The research finding of Christakis and Fowler confirms that people who smile tend to have more friends with smiling getting you an average of one more close friend. This is not trivial as people only have about six close friends.With much of our communication mediated through digital technologies, smiling takes on a new challenge: How to express warmth over the phone, sms, e-mail or twitter? This is only a challenge not an impossibility with the assistance of emoticons (the little faces) for informal settings and the use of the recipient’s name in the text wherever possible for formal ones.When the lead singer of a little-known band had his guitar smashed by careless baggage handlers on a United Airlines flight he sought redress from the airline for a year with no result. No one listened or showed any concern for his situation. In frustration he wrote a song describing his experience, videoed it with friends and posted it on the Internet. Within two weeks it had attracted 4.1 million views and the Times of London reported that the video had precipitated a $180 million drop in United’s share price. Not listening to customers is always expensive, but not listening to friends, colleagues and family is no less damaging. The converse is similarly true; listening is a very engaging social force.Carnegie sites avoiding arguments as a key ingredient in meriting and maintaining other’s trust. I do not know of anyone who put this better than the humourist, Dave Barry: “I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”There is probably nothing in this book of interpersonal insights that you do not know, so you will learn nothing new. What makes this worth a quick read on your next flight is that it will remind you of what you already know and in the reminder lies the value.Readability Light +--- SeriousInsights High ---+- LowPractical High --+-- LowIan Mann of Gateways consults internationally on leadership and strategy

You don't have to read the original to appreciate this but the og goes into way more depth on each subject. The new version is worth the read even if you've read the old.If you're smarter than me, you could probably make the same connections this book does with our modern world. But I'm quite grateful they made it! A lot of areas I've been struggling to figure out, this book has made clear.

One of the greatest books ever written in its original form, the new book delves into the challenges that this digital generation of emails, and cells, Facebook and Twitter faces in humanizing these newer abilities to "touch base" while acknowledging that there is no replacement for face to face contact with more sensitive subjects, as in a reprimand or a communicating heartfelt thoughts and feelings with a loved one. There are "permanent in nature" messages we communicate when we press "send" on that email that are irreversible. Thus I found this area of the book very cutting edge. Too much of the time people in both business and personal relations are writing from an emotional focus, and "send" is the culmination or exclamation point of those emotions with in many cases irreversible results (its in black and white with your name and a time stamp!)A quote from the book is fitting here."If you need to discuss a mistake or gaffe that somebody made, its best to do it in person or over the phone. Save your written communication for praise and constructive advice."Other areas of the book for this digital world were very enlightening as well. The proven fact for instance that the internet while availing us many conveniences in the way of information, has made us more shallow thinkers, more impatient with each other, (service personnel, friends and loved ones). A famous movie critic in 2010 was noted as saying that there is a skitterish quality to this generation, not considerate of others, only in the getting of theirs, and quickly.You know that sense of isolation you feel when a person is using a device in your presence or that eye contact with another human that is impeded while they are sending a text or otherwise disallowing a form of interaction that was once taken for granted?While this book is not a cure for that it is certainly a balm in recognizing when you yourself have trampled over someone's feelings by negating their importance in your life. All people are important. The checker at the market lighting up when you speak her name! (its right there on her name tag!)Also, remembering people's names is not easy. But is one of the most crucial areas of being successful in all aspects of human contact. This is a fact from the original Carnegie text that has lost none of its impact. I find the more I say a person's name the easier it is to remember, and it personalizes the thought I am trying to bring across to them.I was shocked when the book ended. I wanted more. It is definitely on my re-read list.A couple more quotes from the book I liked though the whole of the book "must" be taken in, these but snippets:"He who sows courtesy reaps friendship.""Giving away credit is a magical multiplier.""Questions allow you to create a conversation-in any medium-that can lead to a better place for all involved. And it allows everybody to feel that they were involved in shaping the outcome."I became a better, re-wired and "more connected" human being.

I had read the original book, which I found extremely useful not only at work but in everyday situations.So, when I saw this, I was intrigued as to how different it would be. After having read the updated version, my eyes have been opened further. If you only read this once, and take in and act on 20% of the information you get from it. You will be surprised how much you get back.

Still has the core philosophy of the original but definitely has more waffle. By no means a bad book, but more of a guide to how the core tenants of the original book could be used in the modern day. Would highly suggest reading the original book before reading this.

Interesting, the beginning is written quite poorly but midway it really picks up and there are many great tips. Needs updating as they mostly refer to Twitter and Instragram is really the front runner these days

I so wanted to like this book. Other reviews were so positive and the original book is a classic. Unfortunately, I didn't get on with the writing style and the content seems mainly waffle and filler. Considering other reviews said this felt like a precis of the original, I can only imagine how much the original was padded out.

The parts of the book that refer to the digital landscape are already outdated, but that’s no fault of the author.The internet moves a lot faster than any other medium.Stick with the original