I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain

*REVEIW BASED ON PHYSICAL COPY ITSELF NOT ITS CONTENTS*Honestly not the best quality. I bought the “new” version but it feels used. The cover has some marks and dings. The spine feels really loose like it’s been read a hundred times. Even some of the pages were crinkled and bent.For my purposes it really isn’t the biggest deal considering the price ($14 on sale), plus the fact it’s been sitting in a warehouse for almost 10 years. I really just wanted a light shameless read to limit my screen time, so I don’t really care if it isn’t in collectors condition. But it is something to keep in mind if you’re looking for high quality.*REVIEW BASED ON ACTUAL CONTENT*This was the fastest I’ve ever went through a book. Not cause it was a must read couldn’t put it down type of thing it was just a really easy read.I won’t go into a lot of details as most the other reviewers have beaten me to it, but overall this was a good read. If you’re looking for a non-series shameless read, go for it. This book is for you.

This is a revealing look both at what goes on behind the scenes in making The Bachelor and, whether intentional or not, at the raunchy lifestyle and persona of this Hollywood-model turned author. The biggest takeaway is that producers, through selective editing, can amplify conflict and create viewer tension by depicting Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants as either Mother Teresa's or budding Ted Bundy's. By the end we can't be sure whether Season 16's Bachelor winner, Courtney Robertson, was a mean-girl villain or a somewhat willing victim. There's plenty of salacious dirt to go around.The book is peppered with locker-room language and lewd details such as the number of men 30-year old Courtney has had sex with (not that many according to her and primly rounded off. She also has a rule against going all the way on first dates with men she might be interested in getting serious with later on.) She describes her favorite positions for intimacy either alone or with a partner, complete with the Cosmo-inspired name for one of them. Robertson identifies the guy who bestowed "the best sex I've ever had", an alum of the show. And of course the number of times she and Ben did it on their overnight in the Fantasy Suite. Courtney gives us the names of other Bachelors and Bachelorettes who were intimate in their Fantasy Suite interludes, which commonly involve separate sex with all three of that season's finalists, two of whom are soon to suffer the humiliation of being publicly dumped by someone they've fallen for on national TV.Robertson maintained a detailed journal during the wearisome downtime between exhilarating dates that some of the girls went on with Bachelor Ben Flajnik. So we learn that contestants for weeks on end are sequestered together in exotic locations with ample free booze but deprived of access to cell phones, TV, or friends and family. This fosters a combustible mix of boredom, estrogen fueled gossip, intense competition, and the unrelenting threat of being sent home.There's a close-knit brotherhood/sisterhood of former Bachelor contestants, whom the show occasionally convenes for parties and brings back for the summer spinoff "Bachelor Pad". What's surprising is that so many gorgeous, nubile female alums, who were publicly virtuous on their previous seasons, make themselves readily available for the alumni hunks. If your name is Emily M., don't read this book.Once a winner is selected the winning twosome is kept separately in seclusion for about four months, until the episodes air. That hiatus is when two people from often totally different backgrounds first encounter their partners' cultures by long distance phone calls and a few clandestine arranged dates. There was apparently little time during previous taping sessions to have discussed with each other such basic topics as religion, politics, one's views on saving versus spending money, and their respective levels of education. When each episode airs they see for the first time how they were portrayed and what the audience saw their partner doing and saying to the other contestants. Thus, the winners frequently breakup sometime after they have milked the notoriety and financial opportunities offered to them (such as what one gets paid for being on Dancing With The Stars) after the final results are shown to the public.Lovable Ben comes off as distant, self-absorbed, and more interested in being with his buddies than with Courtney. His mother is painted as snobbish (her first question to Courtney was "Why didn't you go to college?"). Courtney's mother's mantra was "All men are scum" and she raised her daughter as a prude. Courtney, of course, ultimately broke out of those constraints in high school, which she barely completed, and she has continued to accelerate through life in the passing lane. Like many other Bachelorettes she falls regularly for "bad guys" despite having her pick of almost any man she wants.The book is fairly well written, aided by Deb Baer. There are plenty of inside info lists, such "How To Get Noticed on the Application to The Bachelor", "Arie's Kissing Tips", and show creator's Mike Fleiss' "Banging The Bachelor". The lists are thrown into the narrative somewhat indiscriminately, however. It's hard to remember from 2012 the many contestants referred to by only first name so fans may want to have a computer handy to Google "The Bachelor Season 16 Cast" for pictures and bios.Some critics have called The Bachelor "fantasy football for females" (and eye candy for a few voyeuristic males like me). But ladies, be careful what you wish for. Another lesson of "I Didn't Come Here To Make Friends" is that appearing on this show can be life-changing but there's less than a 4% chance of a happy ending. And even the winners can be losers.

I was debating between 2 or 3 stars for this book, but decided to give it 3 stars because I feel sorry for Courtney. She wrote this book for 3 reasons: 1. She needs money. She will make money from this book; good for her. She knows how to make the most of an opportunity. 2. She is a woman scorned and wants revenge. She attempts to get back at Ben for not really loving her or paying much attention to her after the show, by writing this book and trashing him throughout. She might feel better after airing her dirty laundry about Ben and her relationship with him (or lack thereof),and if it made her feel better, then good for her (even though to the readers, she comes across as pathetic and immature). 3. She wants to repair her image from the Bachelor. The book gives additional insight into Courtney's psyche, but it is not pretty, and does little to repair her image.I watch the Bachelor because it is silly and funny, and so NOT real. Anyone who thinks it is real or that it is possible to find deep, meaningful love after dating one person for a few hours over several weeks, while that person is also dating 24 other people, is extremely misguided. Courtney Robertson seems to fall into the misguided category. She seems to believe that she instantly fell madly in love with Ben, whom she actually loved after watching him on TV as a Bachelorette contestant. Plus, she actually believes that he fell instantly in love with her, too. After being sure of the deep and instant love connection, Courtney unravels as Ben plays out his stint on the Bachelor, and after the show, does not seem interested in Courtney. She does not seem to understand why Ben reverts to being a frat boy, who becomes a womanizer after achieving fame from being the Bachelor. She does not understand why he will not ask her to move in with him, and would prefer living with his frat boy buddies. Throughout the book, Courtney recounts all the immature behavior of Ben and how his personality is boring and uncaring, yet despite her recognizing it, she seems to overlook it and throws herself at him in order to get him to change. I found Courtney's endless complaining about Ben to be confused and confusing. I was hoping there would be a lot more to this book, but most of it was complaining about Ben. When she finally moved on to Arie, I was so glad to be done reading about Ben, but the Arie parts were brief and then she went right back to complaining about Ben. What a waste of reading time!The book was not worth the $11.99 that I paid. The only interesting parts were about the Bachelor process of auditioning (a few pages worth), and a little bit about behind the scenes and Bachelor Nation. I would have liked to have had more of that in the book.The other negative aspect of this book was Courtney constantly putting down so many other people, in addition to Ben. Courtney is so insecure and narcissistic that she puts down others to make herself feel superior. Courtney used writing this book as catharsis, but I hope that she gets the professional help that she needs. She relies on her looks for everything in her life, and she lives a superficial existence. She is going to be even more depressed than she already is, when she gets too old to model, loses her looks, and has to rely upon something other than looks to get work and a relationship.The book reads like the diary of a high school girl with a crush. It is poorly written, although there is an occasional "big" word thrown in to make it seem like the writer has intelligence. There is no plot or direction. There is no resolution. The book is organized as follows: Courtney has bad relationships before the show, auditions, goes on show, hates her time on show, hates the women, loves Ben, cannot get Ben to pay attention to her, breaks up with Ben. The end.I only recommend this book to Bachelor fans who have enormous curiosity to learn a little more about the show, and a lot more about Courtney and Ben, most of which are Courtney's negative perceptions.

Being a Batchelor fan i watched ben's series, we don't get them all in the uk, during the series i began to not like Courtney as everyone else did, but i was looking for follow up information on the couple and saw that Courtney had written a book, i bought it and read it in a few days, at the end i had the upmost respect for her, there is a lot of manipulation on the women by the producers, the fake wedding that she organised i though omg why? but on finding out that the producers had engineered it my heart went out to her. Courtney was a self made successful model but she lost work because of the fallout of becoming Ben fiancé. Ben was a complete 'a hole to her', she tried so hard to make the relationship work but it failed not her fault in my opinion, if you were in the i hate Courtney brigade then you must read this. I'm glad she has worked her way through it and things are looking up for her and that she has finally found herself A****

This is a great look into the workings of the show and how easy it is to fall for someone you don't know. Like most of the viewers I thought Courtney was a bitch and was in shock when she won. But having now read her book (and seen some of the final episodes of the show over again recently) i understand her view point and she wasn't really that bad after all and Ben certainly wasn't the dream guy everyone thought him to be, good read

This book changed my opinions of Courntey. While watching this particular season of The Batchelor I began by seriously disliking Courtney. Towards the end of the season I started to dislike Ben more, for being a twit who is clearly led by his nether region.Anyway, this book has shown me not to judge before I know more of the tale.Such a great read and good look to the author! <3

I loved this candid book ... I really disliked Courtney on the Batchelor - intensely .. but was compelled to buy and read her book to get a better understanding of her personality ... she's the sort of girlfriend I'd like to have !! The book is honest / funny and telling in lots of ways .. really makes Ben an utter gobs***e - which I think I knew already - highly recommend this book.

I will be the first to admit I really did not like Courtney one bit when I watched Ben's season. I was a Kacie B supporter all the way. I know there are two sides to every story, however, I really found myself liking Courtney a lot when reading this book.It really highlighted how television shows can be cleverly edited. It was a great insight to how the show is made and all the stuff that goes on behind the scenes that we normally would never get to hear about.Of course, the most interesting part (for me, anyway) was finding out how horrible Ben was to Courtney. Really, I think she dodged a bullet in the end!If you are a Bachelor fan this is a must-read! Highly recommended.