Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships Paperback – July 31, 2007

This is a well thought out, well organized and very insightful work. In my opinion it is heavy reading. I generally can read a book a week. This one took about 50% longer. There are a number of reasons for this. There is very little white space on any page. The subject matter is new and different and unless you have made a deep study of the brain, its various parts and functions, you will often need to refresh your memory about what the various parts do.Having said that, I would highly recommend the book to anyone who wishes to learn more about why we do what we do. There are some very valuable lessons that have application in everyday life. For example, Goleman talks about how fear in social situations engages the the flight or fight part of the brain, overriding the cognitive part. He gives everyday examples of how this shows up in our daily lives. The teacher randomly calling on students in the classroom can evoke social fear, shutting down the cognitive/learning part of the brain.Goleman deals with numerous other social situations in life - love, anger, empathy, prejudices, crime and punishment. His insights are sharp and easy to understand. Some are real eye-openers.The book is long, some 334 pages with 65 pages of notes. This means that the concepts set forth in the book have been well researched and he provides the sources for those who wish to do additional research on a particular point of view.If you have any interest in why people do what they do, then this is an important book. Just realize that it requires some thought to read and grasp all the concepts put forth in the book.

Lots of different studies sighted, yet an amazing and interesting (and easy) read.

Goleman is a good writer in the tradition of the British school of psychoanalysis, and he follows its tradition of not giving credit to people who have done decades of research. Readers are frustrated because he has been writing in circles for 20 years to avoid stating the obvious - that low EQ (or whatever he's using as a euphemism for neurosis) is the result of alcoholic, abusive, addicted, or mentally ill parents. He tap danced around that for 100 pages in "Emotional Intelligence," but at least here he finally gives a nod to Attachment Psychology. These ideas have been around for 100 years, but the Freudians made it their mission to assassinate the career of anyone who was not a disciple of Freud's "drive theory" which largely discounted the role of the parents. When the Freudians faced a global rejection of drive theory in the 1960s, they started calling the ideas they rejected "Neo-Freudian" and adopting them as if they had always believed them and their scorched earth Inquisition had never happened. It's like the Mormon church "baptizing" dead Holocaust Jews, except a lot more dishonest. Of course, Goleman is not personally responsible for this, but it would be nice of he acknowledged the previous century of people who risked their lives to advance these basic ideas, or if he would point out that psychology lost about 50 years of progress.

In this companion volume to his bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, Goleman persuasively argues for a new social model of intelligence. He expresses concern at our creeping disconnection from one another as we connect instead to iPod, computer, and television. Another example of that disconnection is how medicine is being taken over by the "accountant's mentality," which is a disservice to patient and doctor alike. "We are wired to connect," Goleman says. "Neuroscience has discovered that our brain's very design makes it sociable, inexorably drawn into an intimate brain-to-brain linkup whenever we engage with another person. That neural bridge lets us affect the brain-and so the body-of everyone we interact with, just as they do us."Drawing on numerous studies, Goleman examines how our brains are wired for altruism, compassion, concern and rapport. The skills of social intelligence include the social awareness of empathy, listening, and social cognition. He demonstrates how the power of social interaction influences mood and brain chemistry and discusses the "toxicity" of insult and unpleasant social experience and the positive effects of neurochemicals that are released in loving relationships and caregiving.He shows how social sensitivity and wisdom can profoundly reshape conflicts. In one encounter in Iraq, a quick-witted U.S. commander turned a Muslim mob's threats into laughter when he ordered his soldiers to kneel, lower rifles and smile - averting a potentially fatal clash. Given our socially reactive brains, we must "be wise," he says, and be aware of the ways that our moods influence the biology of each life we touch.

This book brought a lot of good information and insight into perspective. I study people and the mind so a lot of the information in this book, I knew but could never put a name to it, nor did I know the reason behind a lot of it, but this book did a great job in breaking things down and informing me on the part the brain plays in it all. Very well written and easy to understand if you don’t know a lot about brain function or parts of the brain. Very happy I purchased this book. And if you’re big on learning emotional and social intelligence, this book is a must have for the arsenal.