The Way of Tenderness: Awakening through Race, Sexuality, and Gender

Zenju raises an essential point - Buddhists correctly identify our incarnation into bodies as a temporary affair, and tend to de-emphasize the temporary aspects of the body in favor of focusing on eternal truths. We do not have a permanent identity, identity is fluid, not just from incarnation to incarnation (if you believe in that sort of thing), but even within a lifetime, as your body ages and changes, and your experiences shape your "identity" (as much as any such thing truly exists). So, the danger is in ignoring issues relating to the body or identity as unimportant, even engaging in willful blindness about issues of race, gender, and sexuality as uncomfortable, and therefore safely shoved to one side as irrelevant. But Zenju - a bisexual woman of color - points out that we engage with the truth while incarnated in bodies, and our bodies and the things we do with our bodies shape our incarnate experiences. "Race" does not exist scientifically speaking, and is an illusory, fleeting thing according to Buddhist thought, so can't we just ignore "race"? That is a trap, because to do so is to be unjust, and to ignore that the experience of race (as a social construct, if nothing elser) has as much reality as any experience in the body. Our experiences of "race" affect us, cause us to act certain ways, be treated certain ways, which is pretty powerful for something that isn't truly real (which, I suppose, could be taken as exemplary of a certain line of Buddhist thought on ALL experiences in the body) . . . Quite a powerful, and often uncomfortable, book.

While there are some wonderful concepts explored here, I found the author's experiences to lack maturity. We tend to see their titles or path as a symbol of growth--or that because it appears in book form, it will contain coherence/wisdom. As I read this, I was also reading Pema Chodron's 'Welcome the Unwelcome.' Whereas Zenju is just getting started, Pema has walked quite a long road, and that experience and lovingkindness for all was more evident in Pema's work. I found myself wanting to encourage Zenju to a deeper oneness/love for all without boundaries, like Pema, and a little way into the reading abandoned it for Pema's, which as I said embraced a deeper maturity and sense of unity for all living beings, which is where I am on my path and wanting to grow. This book felt like a nice conversation, but a step backward in years and I wasn't willing to go back, yet kept sending an intention for the author to keep walking, there is more road to go, where all paths converge and all people are one.

I found this a challenging, and ultimately worthwhile book to read. I like Earthlyn's concept for Zen: The Way of Tenderness. The book covers the difficulty people of color face following Zen practice in predominantly white zendos, and describes Earthlyn's journey towards ordination as a priest and her founding a zen center dedicated to practice by Blacks. As a white zen student, I found this idea divisive and offensive at first, as if there were something wrong with being a white zen student, but I kept reading and came to understand the rationale behind this approach to zen.We must confront racial division in our practice, and it is incumbent on white zen students to be truly welcoming to Black students, and understand the challenges they face in a mostly white sangha if we want to heal these divisions. I recommend this book.

Each page is full of courage, painful stories of the legacy of racial oppression but the gates that open the doors for the transformation of that pain and the inner freedom that she discovered!!!

I was deeply touched by this book and learned a great deal. I will read it over and over again, and feel so very grateful to the author for sharing her abundant, hard-earned wisdom with the world.

Zenju Earthlyn Manuel tackles the most important issues for any religion or spiritual practice of our time. She helps us to see why Buddhist and others shouldn't keep walking over the bodies to get inside the temples to meditate or pray. We fail to be one until the pain and suffering of others often caused by spiritual policies is understood and acted upon. I am happy she had the courage to do this.

I say this because she really helped me connect some dots that I was missing. Many might assume that this book is constrained to people like her, and I am so happy that I pushed past that assumption in myself. If you want to expand your dharmic perspective on race, sexuality, and gender, then this book will not disappoint.

Short but beautifuly written. She outlines the importance of honoring the intersectional parts of our humanity which buddhism often tells us to overlook.

Plants the beautiful seeds that will flower through our own actions and meditations. The language can be a bit flowery at times so I often found myself re reading parts to understand it. Despite that, I still give it a high rating as it's definitely a very helpful book.