BPD from the Husband's POV: The Roses and Rage of My Wife’s Borderline Personality Disorder (Roses and Rage Bpd)

I'm sure this book is very relatable to many who read this. Knowing they are not alone in these experiences. Thank you for putting yourself out there and providing personal experience/examples living with a BPD spouse. I found myself sobbing 1\4 way into the book for a loved one close to me, whose experiences pretty much going down the line with your experiences(minus the jail/suicidal experiences). This book is very enlightening for extended family, wanting to understand and be supportive to everyone involved. Additionally, I found myself devastatingly heartbroken(for the love one with BPD & the spouse without) Very eye opening to know the vicious cycle. Hoping the cycle can be broken. Hopeful therapists can help husbands & wife's coping with BPD to not lose themselves or each other, find a common balance while trying to be supportive and navigate through healing solutions for learning how to help their spouse heal while healing their relationship. A goal of a healthier life together and hopefully build a strong marriage as the final outcome. Thanks again!

I loved the intro to this book which got me to buy it, and what a relief to know Im not the only one living with Crazy.Some people heard my story and said that's just like everyone else, and I thought well that isn't right, I shouldn't be treated like her worst enemy one day and be subjected to such harsh abusive language.I found myself spinning in circles trying to make her happy but what I didn't know was there was nothing I could do to make her happy. It has to do with her glasses and how she sees the world.I do not know that the "diagnosis" is right but I know the description fits about 80% in my case.I like the style of this book, a first-hand account rather than a clinical description. When your in the middle of a relationship like this it is very disorienting. It takes relating to others in similar situation to feel some relief that your not crazy, just living in a crazy situation.There is more I've learned a lot about dealing with this in Buddiist study group, might try that to see how your behavior might be sparking hers. Not that ITS ALL YOU, but this helped me.Good Luck

I am a mother of a teenage son with BP. I thought this book dictated moods well. I don’t agree that he was bitter. I have had read several books (some he mentions) most are spouse related books. I fear that if I my som doesn't get the help he needs this will be his spouses future.This was a good, quick read and I was able to relate to it. He doesn’t go much into treat etc but as anyone who id dealings with a BD you can't change them and it is more important to learn to make boundaries and stick to them.

I passed this on to someone who is in a relationship with a BP. This book is a blunt recollection of actual experiences. It demonstrates how someone can be seduced and then trapped into a never ending cycle that can destroy all things positive. Losing contact with family, friends and hope…I’m afraid of the pain that I may have caused but am hopeful that it will help end the confusion and give him the strength to take care of himself and make the necessary steps to find happiness.

I found this book very easy to read. It was very relevant to me and shed light on so much of what I’ve been going through for 18 years now.

Possibly helpful for men... but as a woman, I got very little out of this book. My husband was married to a BPD, so I bought this book in an effort to understand what he went through, as I think he still has PTSD-like symptoms from the experience. I got very little insight from it, if any. Other than his matter-of-fact sharing of his surreal experiences, the writer does very little to convey how this experience affected him emotionally. He does express some regret over "I wish I had known... I could have reacted differently", yet I see no empathy, no depth. After they divorced, he bought a sports car and slept with beautiful women. Apparently he bounced back with very little difficulty. The author could be the poster child for "boys don't cry or show feelings". I would love to find a book written by a man with feelings FOR men with feelings about how to emotionally recover from being married to a BP - but while there are many on how to recover from a BPD parent, I haven't found much on this topic.

Thank you for writing this book, buddy. I’m just coming out of a confusing brief dating period with someone, and you are taking all the words out of my mouth. The “crazy” as you call it made me want to try harder to help this person and even made me question myself, all while suffering in silence not knowing what I was dealing with.

Every experience was spot on and I have a comparable story. Thank you. I am less angry now knowing my spouse can’t help herself. Everyone talks about depression and anxiety, but this personality disorder is devastating if you are at the point of its abuse. I was starting to have suicidal thoughts, but am feeling a lot better after reading this book.

Actually, I am the wife with BPD. I'm very high functioning and my husband could relate to certain parts of your journal but not all. Life is indeed a rollercoaster, but we are together for life. It fits my life well, and after the diagnosis, I finally understood. I agree a bit with all the other comments. But whatever my other diagnosis were on top of this, I always want help. Also, it's really nature bs nurture as you can be born with a predisposition to it dependent upon your upbringing, it may reveal itself or not. The critical part is early childhood when certain parts of the brain are still forming, especially the amygdala. MRIs have shown the borderlines,. I hate the label crazy, show certain parts of the bpd persons brain shows up smaller or stunted when compared to the norm. Stigma is really an issue we must fight to do away with as how we were made is not our fault, but if your wife had chosen possibly dialectical cognitive behavioural therapy, your marriage may have had a chance. With my family, it's too late for a diagnosis because I have been cut off from them for the most part. It is a hellish way to go through life and one person's bpd is certainly not another's. I believe there is hope and since my brain has been stunted in childhood, we figure, it will be very hard. But I now have a workbook, I ordered three books my dr told me to get to learn about myself and how my brain functions differently with having bpd and I got my husband yours and two other books. Again, my case is different because it reared its ugly head in my childhood then seemed to stop for many years but after a recent tragedy it has returned to show signs at the age of late fourties. Thanks for writing it and I'd like to join your FB page as well. I would urge husband's to read it do they know there not alone and the bpd person themselves to see just how many of the scenario s have happed.Respectfully yours,Jacqueline

It was really really reassuring to read that I'm not the only guy in the world who's going through hell with a BPD wife. Every episode in the book I have gone through. I really wish there were 6-8 of us sitting around trading stories of what each one of us has gone through. Just knowing the fact that you aren't the only one who's going through this chaos gives you strength. Thanks for sharing your experiences buddy! It could not have been easy to come out in the public like this. But I'm glad you did.