Standing on My Own Two Feet: A Child's Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce

This book has been SO helpful. For any other families that are dealing with a contentious custody situation or are concerned about alienation/abuse by proxy I highly recommend. The language and concepts are very simple and very effective.My boyfriend and his ex-wife share custody of their 6 year old son. His ex moved out of state 2 years ago (with her fiancé) and their son lives primarily with us. Their son will often request this book when he’s having “big feelings” and missing his mom extra. We talk a lot about feelings in our home and the messages in this book really seem to comfort him.In regards to helping with alienation- per the custody agreement their son just spent all summer (2020) with his mom. She wasn’t following mask rules and before he returned she told him she was worried about him coming back to his father because “there isn’t any COVID where mommy lives but everyone is dying in San Francisco where daddy lives”.Awful. So awful. And she’s lying! But he’s only 6, he doesn’t read the news; and she’s his mother, so of course he believes her. He loves all of us- but he was really scared and had a huge meltdown. But how do we defend ourselves without calling his mom a liar? Navigating that minefield required some mental gymnastics.We spent a long time letting him express his feelings and concerns. He was SO angry and confused. Once he felt understood and calmed down a bit we agreed that COVID was really scary but that we had heard different information. We heard COVID was all over the world- including where mom lives. Everywhere. Not just San Francisco. And we don’t know anyone who’s died- not even anyone who’s gotten sick (thankfully). So SOME people are dying in San Francisco but not everyone. But more importantly... “Remember My Two Feet? What does is say about moms and dads? When you’re with them… you are safe. Your parents will keep you safe. That’s their job. When you’re with mom and her fiancé you’re safe and when you’re with dad and me you’re safe. COVID is super scary but we will keep you safe.”“You are safe” connected with him. I could see him relax. He knows this book and I think being reminded of this affirmation that’s been comforting him over 2 years definitely helped ground him and bring him back to reality. At least a little bit.Side note, if you’re looking for an adult book about navigating separate houses Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci and Putting Children First by JoAnne Pedro-Carroll are good resources.If things are more contentious (alienation/abuse by proxy or brainwashing is a concern) I’d suggest Divorce Poison by Dr. Richard Warshak.

This made a big difference for my daughter. Unfortunately we’re going through a divorce and obviously this is rough on a child. But this kind of breaks it down on a child appropriate level (she’s 5) with very important key messages. Like “mom and dad don’t always get along but it’s NOT MY FAULT”, “no matter what happens, they will always be my mom and dad” and “I am loved and that makes me strong”.The first time we read it, it seemed like it took a huge weight off her shoulders. Not sure if all kids would love this as much but for us it’s made all the difference!!

I bought this book for my 6 year old when she was 4 and her dad and I were separating. I knew it would be a good thing to have a book that validated her experiences, but I didn't realize how affirming and helpful it would be. She's now 6 and just as I think she's forgotten about it, she'll pick it up at bedtime and read it out loud and smile. There's a sense of pride and a sense of self that this book has given her, as I think there's power in putting words to a difficult experience and knowing you're not alone. It's also great about letting kids know that what's going on is not their fault and not their responsibility to fix. I appreciate the line that acknowledges that they hope mom and dad will get back together, but that probably won't happen and it's not up to them. It validates so much - emotions, experience, normal reactions, and has really been a blessing that she still goes back to. I was surprised how meaningul it's been to her and me. Definitely recommed!

This is my three year old daughters favorite book about divorce. I think we read it almost once a week but it was more frequent when her dad and I first separated. It has a good sentiment and the story talks about how the main character has two houses now and how even though he wishes things hadn't changed he knows he is still super loved still by both mom and dad and that it wasn't his fault. I say 'he' but my daughter is convinced that 'Addison' is a girl. Go figure.For our situation my ex and I are still best friends and get along great and co parent very naturally. But it was still really hard for my daughter to figure out why daddy doesn't live at home anymore and navigating getting used to his new apartment and everything that goes along with that. This book really focused on having two different living situations, and missing the parent you're not with, and still having both parents around for activities and parenting etc. So it fit will with what we needed. It's been a year and she's really adjusted well and this book really did help.

This is a fantastic book. My husband and I are currently separated, and it is hard to know what to say to my 2 1/2 year old son. He is sad, and does not understand what is happening. This book explains divorce in a way that is appropriate for toddlers or young children. The basic message is that their life is changing, that they have two homes (neither better than the other), that none of this is their fault, but most importantly, that both of their parents love them. It shows the child having fun with both Mommy and Daddy, it shows both Mommy and Daddy supporting their son as he plays soccer and goes to tae kwon do. It doesn't take sides, it doesn't make value judgements about parents or the situation, it just emphasizes love.I may not want to live with my husband anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that my son needs to know that BOTH of his parents love and cherish him, and that they will continue to do so no matter how they feel about each other. This book helps get that message across, and I think this is why my son asks me to read the book at least once a day.

This was my first time buying a used book. I was hesitant because of the disclaimer that used books may contain highlighted pages but their motto "read more, pay less" convinced me to try and I'm so glad I did! The book looks brand new and I paid half! I'll definitely buy used again, especially since my son will grow out of books. More money in my pocket!

A good read for children with separated/divorced parents but the illustrations could have been improved. My daughter found the pictures to be a bit “freaky” and whilst this may just be her view it means it’s not a go to book for us even though the content is ok.

Reception was okay. Was what I expected more or less.

Great book to explain changes to kids!