A Woman Is No Man

This was a tough read from beginning to end.Be prepared to meet Isra and immediately be introduced to the depressive condition that is her life—written in its raw, unapologetic, and wholly frustrating form.I despised everyone.Everyone.Isra’s mother for her enabling of her daughter’s submissions, Fareeda for her role in keeping Isra in a state of stagnation, Khaled for resigning himself to a role he would come to champion for his useless sons ...just ...ugh!All of them made me want to break stuff.The fact that the book speaks to ideals based within the Arab culture didn’t change my perspective on these characters: I still despised many of them and kept waiting on them to be something more than enablers and abusers.I guess I’m too Westernized to read something like this because I simply couldn’t forgive Isra’s resignation.At all.Again, I understand the book is meant to show how restrictive life for a woman can be within the Arab culture, but a lot of what happens to Isra felt, at times, like willful ignorance/downright stupidity.She couldn’t get out of her own way. It was as if she decided the devil she knew was better than the one she didn’t—no matter the hell she was currently living.The writing itself was great. Rum understood where she wanted to go with the story and each one of her characters.In the end, my issue with this book was accepting a world where women are painfully irrelevant; to the point they’re driven to tragic extremes to find anything resembling true freedom.That was too big of a pill for me to swallow—no matter what truth it’s based in.

As an American girl, marrying an Iraqi man a bit older than myself, in the early 1960's, I saw many degrees of these attitudes and behaviors portrayed in this book. I have to say, despite the battles it took, we had 45 years of relative happiness and a great family. I also enjoyed the familiar Arabic words and things they ate. We all loved the delicious Arabic food my husband made. There are so many great qualities in these people. It's difficult to think that this was and is the way some of them still think!!!! Anyway, thank you, Etaf. P.S. They can be convinced otherwise.

I liked that it kept my interest, but the ending was a huge disappointment. I literally googled comments about the ending and it all goes back to remembering what happened on pages 218-220. Sorry but thats not cool. I read in increments, so for the author to think readers would remember a small comment chapters earlier? Nope. The author goes into such much detail about all of the characters lives but literally drops the ball at the end.

I can't imagine living a life of such restriction and abuse. Being a woman in many parts of the world is a liability and a handicap. When did men decide this? When did it become shameful to be a woman? Women were celebrated and revered, idolized in some civilizations. Extremism in any society is dangerous. I give tremendous kudos for this author for shedding light on this belief that women are disposable beings. It's a terrible reality. A reality that should be fought against through education of both men and women in the Islamic/Muslim world. I find light in this author's courage to tell it. I find abundant courage in all women who tell this story.

There are no words to express how much I appreciated this book. There are many aspects from the narrative and characters that mirror my personal life... I can't tell you how many times I cried reading through this book. This book has helped me reflect and understand a few things from my past and childhood. Things I thought I understood but really didn't... Etaf: Thank you for writing this incredible book.