If I Forget: A Caregiver's Memories: 2 (Times Like These)

ReviewIf I ForgetThere is no happy ending. There are no lists of helpful hints for dealing with dementia. With this memoir, Judy Jones shares the intimate experience of her mother’s last year with Alzheimer’s disease. Woven through this story are glimpses of current and past family dynamicsJones takes us into her personal world as she takes on the challenging caregiver role for her mother. As her mother declines, we share Jones’ emotional stress. “I resent that I can no longer do these things . . . And I’m so worn down by Mom’s demands and her accusations.” She reminds us that this disease is more than forgetfulness. “She was hitting, swinging at me, trying to land a punch. I cannot fight back or restrain her because I am afraid I will hurt her.”The epilogue sheds further light on the title. Here Jones tells us of her fear of being yet another of the many women in her family to have this disease. There is a sense she is gathering her memories and family stories while she is still able.If I Forget may be a narrative punch in the gut, but anyone dealing with dementia—directly or indirectly—will appreciate the honesty here. It belongs next to the how-to and reference books.

Judy has put into words what so many feel as they watch & care for someone they love suffering from Alzheimer's, a stroke, cancer, or so many other debilitating diseases, from the trials & frustrations to the touching & funny moments. If you are a caregiver or know someone who is, this would be a good book to read & share!

People will be able to relate to this book on many levels. It is a realistic yet entertaining story that makes you want to read it cover to cover without delay. Sure to become a movie one day in the near future. Pass it on to all those who you believe would benefit from a true to life story including the complexity of emotions that are experienced while caring for your loved ones at the end of their life journey. Character development is excellent making it easy to imagine exactly how these people truly were. This would be a great gift for friends and family.

Very moving, I could feel the love, compassion, frustration and heartache of the author. I would recommend it to anyone, especially someone that has traveled or is traveling the road of being a caretaker.

This book is wonderfully written about the trials and joys of the Jones family - from farm life in Iowa to growing up in the 60's in California - combined with the struggle of taking care of Judy's mother at the last stages of her fight with Alzheimer's. I cried and laughed from one chapter to the next. Thank you Judy for being an open book and reminding me what is most important in this life long journey - family & friends! Great reading for anyone who has or will be caring for a loved one.