Spirit Marriage: Intimate Relationships with Otherworldly Beings (A Sacred Planet Book)

My feelings after finishing this book (Kindle version) are complex. I definitely have a horse in the race, as I have been in a dedicated spirit marriage for over a decade. My background and the author's are almost polar opposite in some significant ways, so I think it is worth disclosing that before launching into my review:First, it is very nice to see a positive treatment of spirit marriages... and by a Ph.D.! I especially enjoyed the earlier parts of the book where the Dr. Rose talks about how spirit marriages may have been affecting human evolution since our beginnings as a species. It was uplifting and validating to read her insights.The summary of spirit marriage in history is relatively short compared to the rest of the book. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I admit I was most eager to read others' personal experiences, but it was good to have an overview all in one place. Think of it as a gloss. Going into great depth about the history would likely be a separate book in its own right.Part Two is comprised of interviews with a number--though not a large number--of people in spirit marriages. While I very much enjoyed the respect and ritual she brought to these meetings, this part is also is where I think the book begins to show limitations. The interviews with those in African-derived religions (ADR) were the ones I personally found the most enlightening. At least one of these interviewees did make the point that the Spirits are to be treated as separate beings, as individuals.Missing, however, are interviews with modern devotional Polytheists in spirit marriages who are interacting with non-ADR Pantheons. Perhaps the "closest" the book gets is an interview with someone who starts off by saying she is married to Odin, but also to a lot of other figures, and who concludes by viewing all her spouses as forms of a single Gnostic Christian entity. That same interviewee views the Deities strictly as archetypes created by humans. The account is of academic interest, but it is not especially representative of the sort of spirit marriages that are showing up among some modern Polytheists. Our theology is vastly different.I do think this book is very important and is a door opening at exactly the right time. Our world absolutely needs spirit marriages and the shifts in consciousness they bring. Nonetheless, the above is why I have deducted one star.I am very glad the author shared her own journey and this does really put the choices of who was interviewed into context. Her background includes the Faery Faith, tantra, and ceremonial magic: a good portion of the interviewees share personal connections to her through those channels. There is a lot of discussion about embodying the Divine Self that may or may not feel relevant to some readers.Perhaps related to the missing non-ADR Polytheist interviews are a few oddities. For example, Dr. Rose speaks of being married to a Being who sometimes identifies as Gwyn. There are quite a few people who are publicly in spirit marriages with Gwyn ap Nudd, but no mention is made of them in the book. I also thought it a bit strange that Leilah Wendell was not mentioned: her public spirit marriage to the Angel of Death and her book on their union is a very visible part of the modern history of spirit marriage. Finally, there is no discussion of sacred celibacy, which can be an illuminating and profoundly fulfilling path for some.I'll conclude by saying that the book is excellent for what it is: an open and sincere memoir of the author's personal spirit marriage journey, supplemented by accounts from other practitioners she has met in the course of her life and her research.

This book gives a good overview of spirit marriage as a concept and reveals some context for the phenomena.Her interviews with several well-known teachers who are in a relationship with spirits or their own higher self or spiritual being were helpful. She also adds her own story after covering in-depth a few others. Through these stories, the author asks questions about how the relationship with spirits is conceptualized and experienced. She points out that the traditions and their approach to spirit may heavily influence how the relationship in spirit-marriage is experienced. She avoids determining for us the correct way, allowing for flexibility and ambiguity.In particular, what was helpful for me was the book's focus on the distinction between one's divine self and a separate spirit spouse entity. She points out that various traditions have one or both depending on the practice and customs. This distinction between the spiritual self and the spirit partner or spouse was essential because of the clarity it brought to my situation. In my Tibetan Buddhist Kagyu practice, I practice and arise as White Tara, who is my yidam deity. This mediation process is quite different from the spirit spouse relationship I have with Freya. This distinction seems obvious now, having read the book. Freya is a spirit companion, guide, and source of power and love that comes from outside my mindstream. It has taken me years to clarify this somewhat confusing situation about what each Goddess was to me and their roles in my life and path. It was valuable to see this situation reflected in some of the interviews she did. In addition, one of her interviews was with an advanced Hindu Tantric teacher. In that interview, she helps bring in the nondual awakening perspective that is part of Hindu and Buddhist tantra's philosophy and religious goals. This nondual perspective validated that the mystical pursuit of awakening to pure awareness can be combined with the creative earthy expression of the relationship with a spirit spouse. The book is based on a Ph.D. thesis research question and uses organic research methods. Like all Ph.D. projects, the goal is to advance knowledge just one block at a time, and thus, the focus must be appropriately narrow so it can be looked at closely and accomplished. The research question Ph.D. process leaves enormous room for others to come later and investigate other questions. This book is block number one. It moves bravely into a subject that few people, outside those in living spirit spouse traditions, know about but which appears to be a rising spiritual phenomenon. I hope her book spurs conversation and more research. Lastly, there are some excellent reports from several of her interviewees that sometimes when a person is working with a spirit spouse, there might be specific creative work that the two can do together. This co-creative relationship overlaps with the ancient practices that shamans worldwide have found working with a spirit spouse. And I have seen it in the contemporary shamanic world. Every person has innate capacity and proclivities. Much like two people in the outer world can become a powerful, focused partnership to bring inspired work into the world, this same partnership phenomenon can happen between an individual and a spirit. We saw with Dr. Carl Jung and Philemon (Philemon is a figure that appeared to Jung in a dream in 1913. In Memories, Dreams, Reflections, Jung recounted the dream in which this figure first appeared to him. After that, Philemon played an essential role in Jung's inner life, and Jung attributed all his significant ideas to the figure.) The concept of the muse and how many creative artists, especially writers, allude to being connected to a presence that opens them to the source of their inspiration is another example of this sacred bond that births something unique into the world. Then there are the prominent examples of how the foundational holy books of various traditions are said to be given from the divine via angels to their earthly writing partners or even directly given.I found the book enlightening and practical. In the end, the author places various valuable tools and tips for working through this process of spirit-marriage today. I suggest reading the book with curiosity and an understanding that the author is not attempting to answer all these complex and profound questions definitively. She wisely resists providing easy clear answers that she readily admits to wishing she could find but cannot. This book is a foray into an entire forest of future research about the nature of human relationships with spirits and spiritual marriage in particular.Well done and well worth the read if you are like me, working out your spiritual path and trying to understand what you are dealing with regarding spiritual beings and your own divine being.

- inclusion and reinforcement of Golden Dawn practitioner, which is a known antisemitic group- enforces that any intimate relationship with spirits is done in order to advance human evolution in order to create a new species, which falls just shy of eugenics- enforces that spirits can heal you, not just physically but psychologically- Rose has a PhD from an institution who lost its accreditation during the time period of earning her doctorate- in one breath suggests you have agency to reject spirits but on the other hand suggests that they will wreck/ruin your life to lovingly remake you, with or without your permission, which is a toxic relationship dynamic- several interviews with practitioners are downright appropriative and spread misinformation- the book isn't even about *marriage* necessarily, it's about the alchemical concept of marriage, which is two individuals forming a union making a better third material, and it suggests that the only path to spirit marriage is to form this unbreakable third material- the whole "anyone in a spirit marriage is destined to save and serve the world" is not for everyone, but there's an undeniable element of eugenics within "evolving beyond" others