Please Look After Mom: A Novel (Vintage Contemporaries) Paperback – April 3, 2012

Please Look After Mom is the story of a mother's disappearance after being separated from her husband at a crowded Seoul subway station. One moment her husband is ahead of her, gets on the train and somehow she is not with him. She is missing. Her family goes all out trying to find her, placing posters all over, going to the police and going door to door to see if anyone has seen her. They are not able to find a recent photograph of her and so it is harder to use a good likeness on the poster. This becomes a metaphor throughout the book. Who is mom? What was she like? What do you remember about her?Each section of the book is narrated by a different character. The first section of the book is narrated by the youngest daughter, a successful writer. It is written in second-person which is not a usual mode of writing. That the daughter Chi-Hon is a successful writer is especially significant because mom never learned to read. Mom volunteers at a home for adoptees and in thanks for her work she asks them to read to her from her daughter's work. She loves to hear what her daughter writes but it is a lifelong sorrow to her that she can not read.Mom's life is lived to fulfill the needs of others. She cooks, cleans, takes care of her family when they are sick and thinks very little of her own needs. Her husband is an adulterer who also leaves the family high and dry for months at a time. Despite his behaviors, mom stays with him and never leaves, even for a short time.Ten years after mom disappears, her husband discovers that his wife has been giving large sums of money to the adoption agency at which she volunteers. Her children send her money every month and they think she is using it for herself. She gives the adoption agency 90% of what they send her. He also discovers how little he knew about his wife despite living together for fifty years.All of the family realize that they have taken mom for granted, that they know very little about her except in relation to what she has done for them. They do not know her dreams, her goals her ambitions. Did she want to travel? Did she want to learn? Was having a family and taking care of them enough for her?Mom suffers from debilitating headaches and it is finally diagnosed as a stroke she has had in the past. The headaches are so painful that she puts her head in bowls of ice, in the freezer, or tries any remedy to ameliorate the pain. Are the headaches at all responsible for mom's disappearance?The book is beautifully written with a wonderful translation from the Korean by Chi-Young Kim. The translation helps the book flow flawlessly. The book is a gem. With little action, there is deep characterization and lives are examined deeply. This is a brilliant book on many levels and from many perspectives.

Very unique book, took me sometime to decipher, than delved into it and found myself highlighting sentences and paragraphs, mesmerized. Unique.

Having read several Asian memoirs, it was a bit like serendipity to come across this gem of a book. Though it's written as fiction, the prize-winning author recounts stories that reflect the true nature of Korean society, their culture and traditions and, most importantly, their familial relationships. I read this story during Mother's Day weekend and was so inspired to be reminded of the many sacrifices a good mother must make. It was a refreshing read in today's world where American women need so much pampering and "down" time and "me" time and "spa" time and "gym" time. American mothers also do too much fretting about trivia such as what kind of car seat they should buy or what's the latest colors to use in the nursery and trying to decide whether to spend that extra money for organic foods. How about worrying about having any more rice in the pot to feed your starving children?The "Mom" in the story is a woman who humbles herself before God and accepts her plight in life with a simple smile and a willingness to share His love with every soul she meets, especially those less fortunate. She will bear all pain in order to serve her family and others with a heap of kindness and charity. What a better world it would be if more of us had her generous spirit!What I found surprising in this tale was the fictional account of the husband's awakening of his transgressions against his saintly wife. It has been a problem for women over many centuries in Asian countries that women are not honored as equals. I would make this book mandatory reading for every young man! No woman should ever have to walk behind her man!The different narrations provided a more rounded and richer portrait of "Mom" and its wonderful creative style gave more drama when "Mom" herself ultimately tells her side of the story. So often her thoughts mirrored my own and brought me to tears. I too can say my children have brought me immeasurable joy and all the days I spent with them are beautiful memories. I thank God I never had to work and could nurture my children and always be there for them.The ending will delight you, wash over you and leave you in awe of the precious gift of motherhood. A must read for all those mothers who have made and continue to make sacrifices for their beloved children.

I liked the first half of this book more than the second half, where it veered a bit too much into the spiritual world/journey - I'm torn between giving it 3 stars and 4, and this is one of many times when I wish Amazon had half stars.The basic story is of an elderly Korean mother/wife who is accidently left behind by her husband at a busy subway station in Seoul - she then disappears, leading to a frantic search by her grown children and husband, and most of the book consists of reflections on her life and relationships with her children and husband with her children, told in turn by each person, and finally by "Mom" herself. Interestingly, many of the narrations are in the 2nd person, which takes some getting used to.Since my own mother in law is Korean and I am more familiar than some with Korean culture, it was very interesting to read this book with that context and perspective in mind. The examining of relationships between family members was well done, but the father's behavior in particular I found incongruous - he was portrayed as being insensitive and at times absent from the family, yet after Mom disappeared he became articulate and communicative and caring. Otherwise, I found the characters very true to life, and very complex.This is the first book of this author's to be translated into English - I would definitely read another, should it become available.