The End of Your Life Book Club: A Memoir

Though I purchased Will Schwalbe’s “The End of Your Life Book Club” not too long after it was published, I began to read it shortly after my own mother had passed away. My decision to read the book was based on my own relationship with my mother. We both shared a love of books. My mother was a voracious reader, a trait she passed on to me. In general, we did not read the same books at the same time, but any time I was ion a bookstore, I picked up books for her to read, usually literary fiction, and she often read them in one sitting, passed the books on to friends, and the discussions often became informal book clubs. She passed in 2014 and to this day, I still find books my mother would have loved, and she comes to mind.Will Schwalbe skillfully does several things in this book. First, he shares his love of reading, a love he shared with his mother. In many ways his world is a literary world. At the time he wrote the book he was in publishing. Reading was a passion, and he loves every aspect of books. He conveys this well, but what makes Schwalbe’s tale unique is his mother and the role she plays in the book. As the book begins, she has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The diagnosis requires many treatments, some of which were experimental, and rather than just sit in waiting rooms, the two decide to read the same books and discuss them. The books range from pop fiction to classics and memoirs, and non-fiction. As Schwalbe shares the book discussions we learn about the remarkable and in many ways humble woman Mary Anne is as she shares her insights into the books. She is in the world of education by profession. In many ways she was ahead of her time, yet she is also representative of her time. She was actively involved in the lives of her children, something that continued in their adult years. She was passionate about the situations refugees found themselves in and did a great deal of advocacy and relief work on their behalf. She was also interested in promoting literacy in book starved parts of the world and founding libraries was something important to her. Schwalbe also discusses her treatments for cancer, the impact the treatments had on her, doing so in a poignant way but also one that upholds her dignity. He also shares her faith as well as the relationship she had with her family members including her husband, Will and his siblings as well as their spouses, and her grandchildren.As I mentioned, I started treading this book almost as a way to remember my mother, but while I was reading much of it, my sister was diagnosed with the same illness. Perhaps this helped me appreciate much of what Schwalbe shares in this book, but my guess is that anyone who reads this book will be touched by the author and his mother’s relationship and will likewise be inspired to read some of the titles the two enjoyed. Also, there are very few spoilers in the book. You need not have read all the titles he mentions, and he only shares the information necessary.

I had cancer in my mid thirties....and I am a mother. In other words, Will Schwalbe's writes about my worst nightmare: dying from cancer prematurely. For that reason, I really hesitated before picking up this book and it took some convincing.Boy--am I glad I did.The End of Your Life Book Club begins like a memoir about cancer, but fairly quickly, it lets you in on the fact that this is really a story about a remarkable life. One of the joys in this book is getting to know his formidable Mary Anne Schwalbe--a woman who accomplished and experienced more in her lifetime than most. For indeed, Mary Anne Schwalbe led both an enviable and remarkable life of public service and accomplishments all the while raising her family that includes equally accomplished children and grandchildren. Brilliantly, Mr. Schwalbe doesn't go there on page one. Instead, he introducers her in pieces. At the beginning of the book, you see her through his lens: a spry, elderly and over involved mama. You end the book wanting to give Mrs. Schwalbe a standing ovation of the type of life she led and it is a feat of writing that this is revealed slowly, versus the tomes that are read, and the anectodes he shares.A person that productive and that effective is bound to be able to teach a lot of life lessons and I did find myself highlighting all kinds of little nuggets of wisdoms. The book is highly quotable as Mr. Schwalbe's (using his mother's voice) puts forth beautiful turns of phrases and incredibly lyrical passages.The love affair with books will likely impact my view on reading for the rest of my life. Truly--this book made me think and feel differently about the activity of reading--more of an active pursuit as opposed to the passive reception of information. Indeed, walked away with a reading list--especially since at the beginning we learn that Mrs. Schwalbe's favorite books were mine as well: John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany and Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind. Thus we learn this is a woman who both likes to read and who loves great stories, all in the midst of the ending of her particular tale. The obvious connection between the author and his mother tugs at the heart throughout and especially in a very touching scene towards the end of the book when he begins to face what he will be missing once she is gone.Here is what I did not like....or rather the reservations I would feel recommending this book to a friend.For one--the Schwalbe family's patrician lifestyle is not particularly relatable to the average reader. For example--not many of us have friends who will casually drop a million dollar contribution for our charity on a whim nor do we have the means to start a charity that funds a library system in Kabul. Had Mr. Schwalbe addressed this nuance up front, I might have been more apt to give this book a rating of five. However--his assumption that we would either "get it" or perhaps just understand that a card-carrying WASP, "we just don't talk about it" fell short. It needed to be addressed. How can we absorb the simple life lessons all the while noting the immeasurable differences in our manners of living?Similarly, Mrs. Schwalbe has two gay children: Mr. Schwalbe and his sister. I speak both as a mother and a fervent supporter of gay rights in saying this, but I found it discomfiting that her reaction to both children coming out was never discussed. Don't get me wrong--it was refreshing to have it seem like a non issue, but it was not exactly presented by an objective third party. Even if he had spent ONE paragraph on this, it would have been illuminating. After all, no matter how progressive Mrs. Schwalbe appears to be, she is still a product of her era where a gay son and a gay daughter must have at least given her one moment of pause. Again--a paragraph could have addressed our curiosity and could have informed the rest of us how to make the non-issue it needs to be.....In the end, this is still a wonderful read and the two minor issues should not prevent a serious reader from this wonderful book. I am privileged for having met Mrs. Schwalbe, albeit in a literary setting, and I walked away inspired with my own life and eager to read some of the books in the club.

Yes, this is a book about a privileged family who don’t apologise or make excuses for their circumstances, but it’s also about a family that gives back to society immensely. And about the joy and necessity of books in our lives. And the importance of family, love and genuine pride in others. If you find yourself bristling at the elitism of the family, ask yourself why? Ask yourself if you are perhaps a bit envious? Would you take the risks that this family does? Will you leave a legacy like Mary Ann(e)? This is a book about selfless love and a devotion to making the world a better place. And the reading list that underpins that.

This book is about books, it's about dying, and it's about building a relationship. Will uses books to connect with his Mum. Sometimes they just choose books which they enjoy, but other times books are used to communicate with each other. Some things can be said so much more easily in words.Mary Anne has a great belief in the power of words. She knows books which explain what she has seen during her work for international charities much better than she can see herself explaining. The books are also used for her a lot of the time as an opening to a wider topic. One of the last things she wants to do before she dies is to see the project she has been working on come to fruitation- that is the building of a library in Kabul, I think that says a lot about what she believes about the power of words.There was something very admirable about Mary Anne. She had spent most of her adult life going to dangerous places, most notably Afghanistan, to help others, she'd been shot at, she's caught diseases, she's seen people in great suffering, but she's not given up. Even when she is diagnosed with terminal cancer she has no self pity. She just worries that she won't be able to do everything she wanted to do. She still says she is lucky in comparison to others. She is suffering, but she doesn't complain and keeps trying to do everything she did before.The book is really one which makes you pause and think, and it added a few books to my ever increasing wishlist. However I did find it was dragging a little in the middle, so if you can cope with two books at a time I'd recommend having something else on the go too (for me it was Dearly Devoted Dexter, which is about as far from this book as you can get!).

I was a little sceptical as to whether I'd enjoy this book as I wasn't totally sure what to really expect. As there were so many positive reviews and it was on the Kindle Daily Deal of 99p I thought it was a no brainer to buy. Well dear reader, I loved it. I found the tips and comments on how Will and his mother dealt with her cancer very helpful. Reading it on my Kindle Paperwhite I found that I'd marked and highlighted several bits to return to which is something I love about eBooks (I love paper ones too!).I also really enjoyed getting some new suggestions for books to read (and if I have one negative comment it would be that I'd have liked a bit more detailed feedback on some of the books they discussed). However, the index of books read at the back is very useful.Mary Ann(e) Schwalbe was truly an amazing and inspiring woman and someone we could all take a lesson from with regard to her charitable works and compassion towards others less fortunate. If only everyone behaved this way the world would be a much better place me thinks.All in all an interesting, informative and moving read which I'd thoroughly recommend.

This is one of those books that you think about long after you've finished reading it. Given that it centres around a woman dying from pancreatic cancer, it could have been overly sentimental or dispiriting. However, Will Schwalbe, Mary Ann's son and the other participant in the book club, writes his memoir in a very straight-forward and decidedly unsentimental way, though you still see his love and admiration for his mother shining through. Indeed, she was a remarkable woman, and other reviews testify to the myriad things she achieved in her life - right up to the end. She had the most positive of outlooks and it is interesting to see how this attitude gradually rubbed off on Will, who was perhaps rather cynical and world-weary at the time. Above all, this is a memoir about people who love books - of all types and from many different cultures. All the books mentioned are listed in an appendix - there will be something here for everybody. Recommended as a book to savour and to dip into for further inspiration.

The book is well written and highly readable. It follows the story of a an inspiring and energetic woman, the matriarch of her family who is diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Although sad and at times distressing as her illness progresses, the way the family and in particular the author deal with the situation is inspiring and positive. Mortality is something that affects us all and there is information and ideas aplenty on how to manage the inevitable in a dignified, positive and inspiring way in this book. The format of the author and his mother sharing different books and their views on them which mirror the issues they are facing in their own world and the wider world is ingenious and creative. The reader is also left with a huge and interesting reading list as a bonus to the story!