Why Straight Guys Love Their Gay Guys: Reviving the Roots of Male Sexuality

Good concepts & reflections but shortage in explaining the mechanisms why straight guys can accept a gay friend as a lover. Good research job in gay and t heology as social repressive institution, but I expected to find more clues about male sex behavior and tendency to have male male sex.

This was an interesting read, that touched on subjects usually relegated to the shadows. There were a variety of approaches to "straight guys and gay guys"... from the author's personal anecdotes, historic references, and other articles and books. Major sub themes were the apparent unhappiness of gay men, especially those living in gay ghettos; the constraints on sex in general, and especially between men imposed by Christianity; and the prevalence of sex between men in Celtic cultures, Through all the shadowy stuff, there was a beautiful optimism about intimacy between straight and gay men.Regarding the unhappiness of gay men, I think Mr. Dalton may have lived in San Francisco for too long. I myself lived there for 5 years in the 90s, and moved an hour outside of the city, to get away from the hyper gay masculinity, and it's pressure. As well, an area he didn't refer to, is that if you're not happy, you need to address that - it's not endemic to being gay!The author romances the supposed freedom and prevalence of male/male sex in the Celtic world... as much as our culture romances the "Romeo & Juliet" romantic illusion of heterosexual love in our culture. While it's interesting to reminisce the Celtic world, it's about as useful as reminiscing America in the 1950s or the Middle East before the current conflict. We all swim in the reality of this moment - that is our playground, the place we can find happiness and meaning.

A short read that poses that the prohibition of M/M sex is a construct of modern society that changed the way i these relationships are perceived and not for the good.

A provocative essay. David Dalton is a fine writer and I have enjoyed his science fiction series on time travel, love and life in pre-Christian times. "I am calling for nothing less than a rebellion against an unnatural system of sexual repression that has been used against all of us for almost 2,000 years," he writes now in "Why Straight Guys Love Their Gay Guys." I agree that organized religion likely causes more problems than it solves by hounding believers into irrelevant narrow sexual roles and lifestyles that seem disconnected to the real issues of the day: poverty, discrimination, public education, a declining middle class, health care, gun violence. The list of issues that impact real lives is a long one and only sporadically handled by church leaders who often seem to be looking for bogymen then solving complex social issues. What would Jesus think? is a question sometimes asked by the devout. He is silent on MM sexual issues in the Gospels. Feeding the hungry seemed a prime concern and joining his ministry. While I do not seek the love of straight men, or men outside my own marriage, I think Mr. Dalton makes many good points and the essay is well documented and a fun, provocative read.

If you're looking for a short, easy read that will reinforce your conviction that male-male sex, owing to the fact that it was common and broadly accepted both in antiquity and in more modern societies until they were invaded and corrupted by Christianity, is therefore normal, par for the course, and should be today as stigma-free as it was in ancient Greece, then you will appreciate and feel validated in your beliefs by this short text. If, however, you are interested in a more thoughtful consideration of WHY in ancient Greece certain men, most commonly older men, were privileged to enjoy being sexually served by other men, commonly much younger men, and what relevance that practice has to life in 21st century America, then you will certainly want to look elsewhere. "Why Straight Guys Love their Gay Guys" never comes anywhere near to considering WHY, even though it is the first word in the title. The author rather prefers to spend every page crying over spilt milk and asking his readers to cry with him in sympathy.

The title and reconciling tone of the book are very encouraging to me. However, I'm now a senior citizen who has lived most of my life in the southern bible belt. I can count on one hand the number of straight men who have been my friends over the years. Seems like more people in general nowadays get the fact that men are men whether gay or straight and our physical, social and sexual make-up (pun not intended) are different from women's. Masculinity can have a lot of positives and doesn't have to remain arrested at the fear ridden eight-year-old level. We can feel compassion, too, it just needs to be brought out.

This explains so much. My best friend is completely in love with me, I’ve survived his wife nearly destroying our friendship (the monopoly on men), he survived the ultimatum barely after a series of nervous breakdowns and very serious mental health issues as a result of being polarized against his nature. And it’s made us even closer, a respectful loving and compassionate best friendship. He’s not afraid of telling me he loves me or misses me, he holds my hand and cuddles me. There were times when sexual desire was absolutely there but I felt so bonded by my own religious predispositions. Time for an open mind.

As a gay man, I resonated a ton with many of the author’s descriptions of gay guy straight guy relationships, including the straight female privilege. At the age of 51, heart now tenderized by egoic failure after egoic failure, I feel that a second book ought to be written, regarding the spiritual development that [hopefully, not absolutely] occurs when two men connect with differing sexual tensions, but with similar needs to express and enjoy affection. Played well, such a connection can be a real cauldron of transformation for both men.