How to Love: Choosing Well at Every Stage of Life

The formula for this genre is always the same: recognize your parent's errors, address their effects on your behavior, become a wonderful person, marry a wonderful person, and rear wonderful children. Dr. Livingston's book warns those who are looking for love to avoid people who exhibit personality disorders. Full-blown PDs are rare, however. My experience is that nearly everyone has a touch of something, usually in only one or two realms of their lives, or exhibited only for particular people- someone might be a swell guy, but has insurmountable anxieties concerning sex. Someone else may be everything you ever wanted, but she exhibits near-borderline behavior when her partner wants to discuss money. Yet another may be a fantastic father, but at work he's passive- aggressive. To instruct those seeking love that they should avoid anyone who is anxious, depressive, controlling, deceptive, moody, touchy, self-centered, etc..., (and that they must not exhibit these all-too-human traits themselves) is simplistic. The book is sweet and nicely written and it's always fun to read about "those" people, but it only made me wistful that my mate and I are far from perfect.

This small volume's simple, audacious title encapsulates its basic line of advice: how to find and grow a loving relationship. If such instruction has been dispensed by innumerable self-appointed experts before, this book is rather like getting it straight from Leo Tolstoy. He's the one who famously observed that happy families are all alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Perhaps Dr. Livingston would not generalize so with respect to lovers, but he explains all the ways someone can be the wrong person for you and why. Equally important, he boils things down to a simple list of what's needed to get things right with Mr. or Ms. Right. Both matters are addressed for the long term, meaning decades of marriage. If we could all read this early enough in life and, more rarely, see some aspect of ourselves in the partners we should try to avoid, the world would be a happier place.

I pursued this work after completing 2of his previous books. Appreciated his ability to view and expand on questions I knew I had but had not put into words. His gift to approach relationships on a grassroots level and make it understandable was a benefit for me.

How To Love has its Pros& Cons as follows:Pros:(1)Provokes questions that challenges one to think about those you relate to and yourself(2)Can be humorous @ times(3)Helps one to face the truth about a number of reasons why an individual may make decisions pertaining to relationships(whether good or bad)Cons:(1)Can be very opinionated at times "The important component of true foolishness is a contempt or lack of understanding for the scientific method as a means of explicating the world, combined with a belief in miracles that is simply an exercise of faith"pp.57(2)If you believe in God beware of the attack on faith(3)Can leave you with more questions that answersThis book is more of what pitfalls & people to avoid with less of an emphasis on 'How to Love'- maybe it should be re-titled "How to Avoid Getting Your Heart Broken Esp. by Mal-Adjusted Personalities"

As a writer, Dr. Gordon Livingston has that rare gift of taking a complex subject and explaining it to the reader in a way that is easy to understand. Gordon makes you examine the topic from what is good for you and what you need to avoid when entering a relationship based on love. His gentle but confronting style forces you to pause and think about your good, bad and ugly relationships. Love is not easy to find or accept but Dr. Livingston gives you an opportunity to explore for yourself how you could have a healthy loving relation. This book should be read by men and women who desire to love and be loved."How to Love" is a treasure that you need to read and share with your friends and loved ones.

I have purchased this book for all my friends, especially those who have young adult children. If these young adults read this book, and really take the time to get it, they will save themselves trouble later. This book is a must for everyone who is looking for that meaningful and lasting relationship. In this book you will recognize most everyone you know (their personality traits); the people to steer clear of (they may seem great at the time, but you will be in for heartache if you hook up with them). It answers lots of questions about yourself, people you know and past relationships (and family too). I highly recommend this book. I especially like the way Dr. Livingston writes.

I enjoy the author's work. My favorite of his was "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart" but it's written in a very different format than "How to Love." Despite the differences, this is a great book I can certainly suggest to anyone looking for information from a fantastic source.

I am not sure what is missing in this book but it left me unsatisfied. There is a robust first section about the types of personalities to avoid, this alone is worth the price of the book, but we all have at least some of those character traits. But the section on how to love just didn't seem to nail it down--am I expecting to much? After all, if it was easy to give advice about how to love the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

This is a good book to read if you would like a a clear idea of what makes a good partner. It does this by giving examples of what bad partners provide in a relationship. Oh boy, it makes you really want to avoid them! I'm glad I now know they're out there and can recognize them. I would like to have read this book years ago. It might have avoided some dates. It's light and easy to read, and a must buy for anyone considering a relationship and especially anyone in a bad relationship. Even if you're in a good relationship it's useful to know what awful things you are missing, and it would help respect and understand those less fortunate.

This is a lovely book to guide you through life and finding your love. Reading it now I see how easy it is to make mistakes when you are young but then maybe we wouldn't see things as clear as we do when older. the book talks about different types of personalities and how to recognise them in every day encounters with people and friends. A very good guide on understanding what type of love we are looking for and that suits our personality.

Should be must read for every one looking to be the right partner and to choose a partner.

Depressive and very negative.