Positive: A Memoir

Before I begin, though, let me deal with the elephant. I, being a fairly cynical dude, have no qualms about beating up on the work of an HIV-positive person, if it's warranted. Truth is, though, it really isn't warranted.I avoid memoirs about depression, bullying, addiction, et cetera, because my experience has been that they tend to be not very good. Too often, these memoirs wallow in their own misery, manipulating the reader into feeling sympathy for the author rather than any kind of genuine empathy. The reader may feel bad for the struggles of the author, but that's it. The reader does not connect with the author.Rawl avoids this by telling her story in a way that is personal but also universal.The book starts off with a section describing Rawl's childhood, and immediately subverted my expectations. Rather than spend page after page discussing the struggles and complications of being born with HIV, Rawl talks about her daily medicinal cocktail as casually as she talks about her excitement at entering middle school, her meeting her best friend, her practicing for cheerleading tryouts, her competing in beauty pageants. Rawl draws the reader in with her enthusiasm. She doesn't dwell on her HIV status, rather making it just another part of her life. And she is immediately likable. She's an upbeat kid whose attitude you can't help but smile at.When the shift comes, when her best friend decides to tell everyone that Rawl is HIV-positive, the book strikes an unusual balance between the ensuing problems and the notion that life goes on. She's got problems on her hands, not only from her peers but also from the adults that are supposed to be educating her, but she's also got other things going on, the typical ups and downs of a teenager's life. In fact, Rawl does not treat her HIV status as something special, as something for which she is being bullied. Her HIV is secondary to the fact that she is being bullied, by students and educators alike.And it's here that I think so many children and teenagers can really connect with the book. Kids can be phenomenally cruel, but I don't believe kids are inherently malicious. Some of them are, certainly, but cruelty is far too often a learned behavior. If kids are not taught how to be decent--and by taught, I mean shown by adults--then they will often be cruel because they don't know any better. They often don't realize how cruel they're being or even that they are being cruel. And all you have to do to see where this comes from is log onto Facebook and take a look at how many adults have absolutely no sense of decency or empathy. Adults who dislike immigrants because they're immigrants teach kids to dislike immigrants because they're immigrants. Adults who dislike gays because they're gay teach kids to dislike gays because they're gay.Rawl beautifully illustrates this miseducation by showing how first the guidance counselor and then the entire school administration failed her. First they ignored her problems, and then they acted like she was the problem. How could the girl possibly win in that situation? How could any student? When the administration blames a student for his or her problems, what are the other students to think? "The adults don't like her, so we're not going to like her. They mistreat her, so we're going to mistreat her." That administration had an opportunity, a teachable moment, and they squandered it. They couldn't be bothered.As an educator myself, that section really upset me. I was actually shaking, I was so angry. That school's treatment of Rawl was an abject failure on every conceivable level.Contrast that with Rawl's next school. Before she even meets with the administration, they have taken steps to educate themselves, and subsequently, they take steps to educate the student body. That's what education is supposed to do: with all due respect to the Core, education is about teaching students to be decent, about viewing issues from multiple angles, about seeing matters from different perspectives, about understanding where someone else is coming from. Learning facts, even learning to think, is not enough if at the end of the day, you cannot see that disliking someone for something so arbitrary as their race or their gender or their religion is utterly ridiculous. You don't have to agree with someone to be decent to that person.And lest we believe that it's all sun and roses for Rawl, she does try to kill herself by overdose. Even after her life straightens out, the pain of what she went through at middle school remains, and she tries to escape it. Fortunately, she fails, and what she experiences afterwards helps her to forgive the people who failed her, the people who hurt her, because that's the only thing you can do. You cannot change the past, you cannot go back and change other people, but you can forgive the people who have hurt you and you can move on.Rawl becomes a voice for students who feel they don't have a voice, and time after time, she wonders what she has to say, why anyone would care to listen to her story. The answer is simple: it's because millions of kids go through the same thing every day, different faces but the same story, and as Rawl points out, way too many of them don't make it.Paige Rawl's Positive is a five out of five. I cannot remember the last time I was this emotionally affected by a memoir. When I finished, my immediate thought was that every student needs to read this book, every educator needs to read this book, every parent needs to read this book. Go out and get yourself a copy. If you can't find a copy or you can't afford one, send me a message. I will you buy you a copy.

This book is fantastic. I could not put it down and read it all within a day. Paige has been through so much in her short life and has blossomed into such an amazing person. There are parts in the book that will make you so angry at how our would views anyone different. Through all the bullying and heart break Paige has endured over the years, she shows us how you can be bigger then your enemies and your own fears and make something of yourself no matter the circumstances. I have recommended this book to everyone I know, especially families with children as they would benefit from reading another young adults journey through hardships. Love the book and love the Author! If I could give it 10 stars I would!

As a teacher, I find that Rawl's story inspires me to keep my eyes open to everything going on around me. Teens can be great at hiding their private struggles.This book flows easily and is a quick read. As a narrative, the writing could use some work. Many chapters include details that strike me as mundane and unnecessary, particularly the extensive adjectives used to describe things relatively unimportant to the overall story, however, if you go in knowing that not every detail matters, it's still an easy read and well worth the time.

As a grandmother whose 12 year old adopted grandson was recently diagnosed with HIV, Paige's book was extremely important reading. She clearly spelled out the various instances of bullying she experienced, and how/why her own reaction to these changed over time. It's obvious to me that kids with HIV have to grow up very quickly - probably too quickly - in terms of understanding the societal stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS. And how they do this without developing self-hatred - just as gay children have had to do - is a horrific challenge. Paige spells all this out so beautifully - how she went from her darkest days to sunshine. I'm so grateful to her for putting this experience into words for the world.

Anyone who has children in middle school or above, or who works with children, must read this book. We all know that bullying exists, but do we really take the time to think about the long term effect it has on the victims? Paige Rawl has been there and is bravely and poignantly sharing her story, striving to make a difference in this complicated world we live in. She shows how searching for the positive side makes us better people and helps us rise above those who suffer from fear of all that is different and unknown. Paige Rawl is my new hero and an inspiration for all.

I've never understood meanness of any kind. This poor family having to endure worse than meanness, I don't know the word to use... This young woman lets you know how it feels like to be the target of adult & peer bullying. I have a new Mom hero, right up there with Ryan White`s Mom. This is a fast read, thank goodness, and you find your self cheering for both. I'm so glad Paige wrote this, people need to understand that words DO hurt, they Do devastate , they DO !

The book is nicely wrapped in plastic, and seems to be in perfect shape. It is one of two options for my son’s H.S.-required summer reading. The story sounds great...I’ll likely grab the book when he’s not reading it! (The only problem we had was due to the USPS.)

Wonderful book - great story illustrating how one girl not only stood up to her bullies - but created a beautiful life doing so. I have purchased several of these books to share with both the teens in my life & the little free libraries throughout my neighborhood.*the last chapter is my favorite portion

Une histoire qui touche. Le manque de connaissance sur la maladie entraîne des réactions violentes et ce livre nous ouvre les yeux sur ce que vivent les personnes atteintes du VIH.

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