Saying Goodbye: A personal story of baby loss and 90 days of support to walk you through grief

I came across this book a few days after loosing my 4th baby. Apart of me wanted so bad to buy it right away and the other part of me was terrified that if I did it would just make things harder for me. I finally got the courage to order this book a few months later and I wish more than anything I would have done it sooner. But I believe whole heartedly I purchased this book at the right time. I went through my 5th miscarriage a few weeks after I started reading it. This book has absolutely been my saving grace. A life line. I will admit I cried reading it. I cried for myself, for my sweet babies, and I cried for the author. It was hard knowing that others have gone through the exact pain I had been through and was currently going through. I felt like a failure as a mom, wife and as a woman. Reading saying goodbye made me realize that it’s okay for me to grieve for my babies when I need to but it also helped me find the strength to pick myself up. Knowing that she could relate so much to what I was going through and that she described the exact pain and feelings, I felt less alone. I felt like I had someone to turn to. Thank you for writing this book. It has had such an impact on my life and made the absolutely most heartbreaking thing a little bit easier to get through.

This book was such a help to me when our baby died in a tragic miscarriage in the early second trimester. The author and her husband understand what it is like to lose a baby, when it is likely that those around you may not. When you are grieving, it is difficult sometimes to sit down and read a book from start to finish; but the second half of this book is organized into 90 days of support, so you can read as little as a page at a time, if that is what you have the energy for today. It helps validate the feelings of the grieving parents, when it feels like no one else around you can possibly understand. I am thankful to have found this book, as well as the Facebook page for the author's charity of the same name. If you are considering purchasing this book: first, I am sorry for your loss and that you even have a need for this type of book at all, but second, please consider purchasing, because I think any parent grieving the loss of a baby, lost at any age, will find this book supportive to them in their grief.

I wish someone had given me this book in the hospital right after I lost my daughter. I was struggling to wrap my brain around what had happened and trying to figure out how I could survive. When I found this book, it spoke to my soul. Someone had written down exactly how I was feeling. The tips and advice gave me permission to grieve and helped me know I was not alone. I cannot recommend this book strongly enough.

I wish I could find the words to explain how amazing this book has been for my mental health. In January 2018, I got out of a bad relationship, found out I was pregnant, and miscarried within a two week span. Therapy isn't my jam so I spent a lot of time on Pinterest, where I found a lot of quotes by Zoe. I stumbled upon her book and it has healed my soul so much. Nothing in life prepared me for losing a child. However, having someone who experienced this exact same trauma and wrote the words that spoke to what I was feeling before I could even explain it myself was a God send. I truly wish that I could give this more than five stars.

After losing our son to still birth this September, this book was the first I jumped into reading to help me cope. Zoe puts into words all the emotions and feelings we go through in the roller coaster that follows losing a child. Just reading her story of loss makes you feel like you aren't in this alone. I would highly recommend saying goodbye (and her new book the baby loss guide) if you've lost a child (recently or 50 years ago it's just as relevant), or are supporting someone who is going through baby loss.-Rebecca

I lost my son during my 2nd trimester, and had a hard time coping with the loss and this book helped me with grieving. Miscarriage is such a hard subject to talk about, and especially with someone who doesn’t understand. It helped having a book written by someone who knows what you’ve been through or going through.

Thank you for sharing your personal story and the way I can relate to my baby loss. It is truly inspiring and uplifting. It is never the same after losing a precious life but I am capable of moving forward to stand tall with a memory in my heart.

Hands down best purchase I made for myself after going through. It was well worth the cost to have something written by someone who knows what it's like.

I don't want to be picky... but added to those Zoe says it will help is me - a vicar! It will be incredibly useful to me in my pastoral care, it has given me insights that I just could not have had, and so aided my pastoral care of bereaved parents. It is a wonderful book full of incredibly painful honesty which has resulted in the capacity to offer such support for 90 days. Zoe's book is a gift of love, a love that knows both joy and broken sorrow, a book I will share with all families I meet experiencing the same loss and pain and grief.

I am a year on from the loss of my first baby and I genuinely wish I had found this book sooner. This last year has been extremely difficult as you’re not only trying to process what has happened you are living a reality without your baby and new emotions arise and old ones resurface especially on special dates and that’s why even though I wish I had of had this book sooner it has truly really helped bring me comfort. There is also one particular page that hit such a cord with me I was left sobbing and have found myself re-reading it again. It’s something that I didn’t realise I still needed to hear but I do still need to hear it. That’s what so special about this book different parts of it will be so personal to you. I also find reading very therapeutic. I also know when my daughter was very sadly born prematurely that I just couldn’t find the words & im sure that anyone going through the agonising pain of loosing your baby will read this book as if Zoe had written it just for you. I can not recommend this book enough for anyone that devastatingly needs it, but rest assured you’re not alone and this book will find your heart and all it wants to do is help you heal. A beautifully honest way of telling such a sad story, that so many of us find ourselves now in and it’s so important to share that with others alike.

I actually didn’t buy this book for myself to read but to give away to another grieving family. Having read small parts of this book myself and having discussed it with friends, knowing the comfort Zoe’s words gave us, we knew we would love to share her inspiring words with others. Zoe speaks about baby loss in the most hauntingly beautiful way, you truly feel her words in your core. When I was reading the first few chapters I felt that Zoe had channeld my thoughts. The most eloquent beautiful way Zoe shares her experiences describes perfectly what I have always wished to say but can never quite get across but thanks to Zoe book there are words now. I’m really not good with words and I wish I could make a beautiful long paragraph like some of the other reviews of this book have been! But I urge you wether your loss was recent or many years ago l, read this book. It’s an essential baby loss tool. Thank you again Zoe for writing it x

21 Days ago, I lost my baby boy James, at 23 weeks +5 days from CDH. I have never known such pain (and I've had a lifetime of physical pain via my own health conditions).This book has been a real lifeline during this awful time. It's like reading my own diary but with my questions and worries answered.Luckily, I have had incredible support from our hospital, family, friends and husband but reading this book has been like a best friend, who knows exactly what to say, how honest to be and has walked in my shoes - it's been invaluable.The book covers 90 days post baby loss, at the moment I can't imagine life beyond the grief or day when I don't sob in the shower or feel despair at 9:57pm every night (James' Birth time) but knowing this book will be guiding me through to my boys due date is a real comfort.Thoughtfully written with heartwrenching honesty, Saying Goodbye is a must have for all those in the same terrible situation as my husband and I. Zoe Clarke-Coates is a bright light of hope and positivity in the baby loss community.

After losing our daughter on 21st July 2017 and having two other miscarriages (one before and one after our daughter being stillborn) I was lost in a dark place filled with sadness, grief, dispair, brokenness and guilt. I felt so so alone. This book was recommended to me and for that I am so thankful, for the first time I realised that my feelings weren’t unique and it was okay to be feeling the way I have. I often go back to the book in times of difficulty. Zoe is an incredible woman and fills me with hope for our future despite the sadness and loss up to now. I am really looking forward to her new books being published.