Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You Paperback – May 5, 2009

Right now you feel hurt, feel lost, trying so hard to understand how this could happen, and WHO is this person that could do this?? You feel enraged one minute and completely distraught the next. Feel hopeless, and wonder how you'll ever get through it...But what if there's a roadmap that will take you step-by-step through the process of not only coming to terms with accepting the loss, but even finding gratitude that it happened? What if there's someone that gets it, understands where you are, because she's been through it herself, knows what works, and is willing to guide you? This book is that roadmap, and Susan is your guide.I found this book supportive, funny, encouraging, and challenging. I have learned and grown so much from doing the work, applying the advice, and feeling understood each step of the way.Where you are and what you're doing led you here. It's not working, and it's time for a change. Isn't it time to put you as your first priority? You will know and see yourself and others so much more from this. You will go from just surviving to thriving.I know you're hesitant; after all, how could one book change so much? Because it's clear cut steps, it's putting the investment into yourself that you once put into a relationship, and becoming a better you in the process. Imagine if you could grow to love you with the same intensity you love others... Find balance and peace within... Break old habits and patterns that have kept you stuck in ridiculous situations and relationships, and the consternation you feel at being here again...I'm not the same person I was before this book. Get out of that uncomfortable comfort zone, dive in and follow this plan. You'll be astounded at the potential that is just lying dormant inside you, just waiting to be let out to flourish. You'll be amazed at the transformation, and feel so proud that you made it happen. You owe yourself this. You have for a very long time.

This book is amazing..After breaking up what felt like the millionth time with my ex, and finally realizing it was for good, I felt like death. It had happened so many times, but before I could even begin to feel really horrible and then start healing, he would sliter his way back to my life and press the reset button. Like a fool I allowed this cycle time and time again. But at the time I didn't realize it was a cycle. It had turned into a norm for me. When I finally realized it was really a dead deal , it hit me hard. But I am glad I found this book. The book has helped me realize alot of things. It really helps you take a step back and dig deep and realize why we do the things we do and allow the things we do . It all goes back to us. Not a blame game on ourselves, but more of a taking a cold hard look at ourselves type of a thing. This book is fantastic. Susan is a highly intelligent woman who has lived everything she writes about.In the book you will be encouraged to do affirmations, inventories of different parts of your life, and to NOT CONTACT (NO CONTACT OR NC) the beloved ex. That right there was the key for me . I havent spoken to mine in about 3 months and we have been broken up for 4. It really makes a world of difference . The book stresses being good to yourself, journaling, and again taking a look at what we can improve upon to have happy healthy relationships . A relationship is a lesson . Your partner is your mirror. If you want to see whats wrong with you , look at them . Not to say you have the SAME issues, more to say if you are putting up with a crappy person with issues, then you have issues yourself, that need to be addressed because healthy people dont put up with that kind of stuff . But the beauty of recognizing that, is you can work on it to achieve the happy life you want and desire. I highly recommend this.

The book is divided up into 9 chapters, some more helpful than others depending on where you are in the breakup. The chapter on grief is especially comforting as is the idea of "being in the middle of the breakup process". The central concept of the book is that when you come face to face with your inner pain, do not retreat. And it is pounded home to you that unless you do the hard work of letting the pain teach you a new way of thinking and loving, you will repeat the same mistakes over and over and never clear the wreckage of the past.I didn't buy this book to get past a short term break up. I bought this book after a 30-year relationship(28-year marriage) imploded. I bought this book because I cried for 6 months, got blazingly angry for the next 6 months while learning to be alone for the first time in my life. This book pointed out to me that I am struggling because I cannot or will not stop trying to communicate with my ex. This is the first book that told me straight up to stop trying to communicate because it is keeping me from separating from emotionally, physically, and psychologically. It also told me that being friends with my ex is a losing strategy. Maybe years down the road but not anytime soon. If your ex didn't love you enough to work on the marriage or relationship, why would you want to be friends with them? If your ex dumped you and you think it was the wrong thing to do, he or she needs to figure that out on their own. You will never be the one to convince them.There is a lot more like that in the book. The urge to search for meaning in the breakup. The reason you should not date right away. Why the relationship inventory can help. What a broken "chooser" is and how to disengage from it. Forgiveness rarely happens all at once. When we stop people pleasing, people are not pleased. I found this book one of the more lucid and clearer. It did actually aid me in getting past my break-up. It will probably help you, too.