Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood Paperback – 6 Jun. 2024

Really validating, insightful and beautifully written

I devoured this book over the course of 2 weeks after my husband showed me an article he thought I’d be interested in that mentioned it. He knows me well 😁Never before has my actual experience of early motherhood been articulated with such clarity and honesty. I believe that many moms will feel seen and heard in their motherhood journey in a way that previously has only been ‘allowed’ to be expressed using humor. It seems to be a new concept for the raw reality of motherhood to be expressed as a serious topic.‘Matrescence’ is a little like the TV show Motherland, meets David Attenborough, meets Germaine Greer. The author weaves together her own raw experience as a mother, with her early immersion in feminist education and her knowledge as a science and nature writer (resulting in the reader contemplating their motherhood journey alongside that of a mother spider who is consumed by her spiderlings days after they hatch…and other such wonders in nature).The result is a wonderful story of one woman’s brutally truthful experience of matrescence, interspersed with examples of metamorphosis and matrescence from other species, as if to put the human experience of motherhood into a much bigger context, whilst also managing to deliver a summary history of motherhood paradigms and ideologies throughout the ages. In this, the author has accomplished quite a feat.All of this is delivered unapologetically, with a throbbing undercurrent of an earnest feminist perspective. A perspective that acknowledges both the ‘emancipation’ of women from the home by liberal feminists of the 70’s and 80’s, and the failures of subsequent feminist activity to address the sociological and biological realities of motherhood in the decades that followed, which have contributed in part to the ‘more punishing’ institution of motherhood’ that women entering matrescence in the early 21st century have faced.It is illuminating. It is affirming. It is moving. Her anecdotes from early motherhood, stirred emotions in me because of the way they touched nerves that I didn’t know were still exposed. The pinball between abject panic and relief that is caring for a toddler. The desperation and joy. The powerlessness and the fulfillment.I could go on and on about this book but I really just think you should read it. New and aspiring moms should read it to supplement their NCT classes and round out their expectations of the next few years. All men should read it to give them an understanding of what their wives, mothers, sisters, co-workers, the woman serving him in a shop, are going through or have gone through, and the part they can play on a practical level to redress some of the societal imbalances that have crept into being. I think we might all become just a little more compassionate after reading it.If you have been a mom with children of any age, you will find something here that gives you some ‘aha’ moments…whether that’s learning how the institution of motherhood has been manipulated to suit altering political agendas, or learning how neuroscience is now beginning to explain why a Motherhood Identity crisis actually occurs, or understanding the best way to support a mum with young children in 2023, whose reality is likely to be very different from our own experience of matrescence, there is something here for every one.The author touches on the impact of matrescence on identity throughout the book and towards the end, sums up, with seeming resignation, that after the birth of her 2nd child, about 2 years after her first, “any delusion of self-reliance and independence were truly shattered.”And it is from this shattering that we have the opportunity to reconstruct our identity, and emerge from matrescence with greater resilience, more self-compassion and increased confidence to define our own motherhood journey rather than drop into the slip stream of the prevailing ideology of the day.Lucy, thank you. You have done us all a great service and I think the ripples of this book will contribute to empowering individual women to take the reins of their own matrescence and direct it back to their center.Perhaps we mother best when we free ourselves from all the models, ideologies, theories and philosophies of ‘experts', who often have their own agenda behind what we ‘should’ be doing as mothers. Perhaps the greatest gift of matrescence, the process, is the opportunity to re-construct ourselves on our own terms. ‘Matrescence’ the book will embolden you to do so.

This is , for me, quite a difficult read- hard to get into as some of the devices used by the author to illustrate her ideas are a bit odd and not helpful. However as a truthful exploration of motherhood, how it affects you and the lasting effects experienced, it is a powerful testimony. Women need a bit more of this empowering truth as do the rest of society. That includes government.

I listened to this while I was walking for miles pushing my fractious 3 month old around in the pram and wish I'd bought the physical book so I could underline parts and remember them.It felt like the first book on motherhood I've read that really drilled into how contradictory a role it is in Western society, how we deify and despise mothers almost simultaneously.It put into words so many half formed thoughts I'd had about why exactly it feels so hard to 'succeed' at motherhood. In particular, the contradictions between telling girls and young women that they should work hard for good grades/careers- only for the minute they give birth tell them that nothing should matter for them anymore apart from their child.I also found the exploration of what is 'natural' and what is societal fascinating - the division of caring labour, the role of breastfeeding in that division, the fact that 12 months maternity leave places women squarely in the domestic sphere from thereon in- how much of that is 'maternal instinct' (are mothers biologically less able to be away from their children than fathers?) and how much of it is convenient for patriarchy. How much easier to make women do the unpaid labour and tell them how natural it is for them.One thing that I think could have been explored more was the assumption that all women love and bond instantly with their babies. This wasn't the case for me, and lots of mothers I know- it was a slow burn, but quite a scary and shameful place to be if you expect it to be instant. It would have been good if the author had explored these assumptions and myths too, alongside the biology of it.But overall a really fascinating book that was illuminating on many crossovers between myth and biology in motherhood