Wendy ShalitA Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue

Author writes very insightful book connecting poor male behavior (from minor poor behavior such as being just plain awkward or rude to full blown bad behavior, such as stalking, assault, and rape) to our cultures degradation of modesty values for women. Early sex education (the insistence that men and women are "the same" and view sex in the same exact way) as well as early exposure to pornography have created this dangerous environment we have today of women not being safe just to walk down the street. Ironically the feminist insistence on doing away with cultural modesty standards for women (i.e. teaching boys to treat girls more respectfully BECAUSE they are girls and not boys) has resulted in, at best, young men who do not know how to respectfully interact with women or at worst young men who stalk women and assault them instead of leaving them alone after having their advances rejected. In times past, decent men were taught to not speak to a woman unless the woman acknowledged him first and "allowed" it. Oh what a nice world that must have been.... I cannot count the number of times I have had to turn to straight up rudeness in order to make it clear to an awkward, overbearing male peer that just bc I am NICE doesn't mean I am INTERESTED. I hate being put in that position, and it's happened so many times. I don't like being rude. Now I understand so much better why this is even an issue at all. It also explains some of the borderline sexual harassment I endured in public school at the hands of boys when we were only in grade school--exposure to porn and probably early sex Ed as well. Teaching young boys that girls want sex the same way just like them, so of course they would resort to harassment. They wouldn't view it as harassment bc they've been told that's what we want!!As someone who grew up in the 2000s and 2010s this book explains a lot and connects so many dots I had not considered. Glad it was written and definitely would recommend.

Isn't it funny how people are determined to make everyone's choices for them? Supposedly women are now free, or more free than they have been, and therefore can now be how they wish to be. This is untrue because society ridicules women who want to be feminine, beautiful and revered. The ideas Ms.Shalit presents are very frightening to some women. I would suggest that those women let it go and do what they are doing. Are they so concerned about my happiness that they must tell me that these ideas are wrong? I have decided to try them for myself. I am from a very religious home and have always been modest. It was refreshing and comforting to read a book that said that modern women could believe in modesty without being freaks. Actually, I have led a very lucky and very happy, blessed life. I wonder about the angry militant women who tell me I should not be the way I am. I am so much more comfortable and happy than they are. I have been well cared for and protected by men. The writing style of this book is very good and Ms.Shalit speaks to us, the young women in a voice we can recognize. The society we have now is very afraid of ideas that go against the accepted norm (free sex, ugly clothes, frightening life choices, etc.) Read this book for yourself. Realize that there are other choices that can be made. Whatever your own position, it should not panic you to read Ms.Shalit's perspective. It is a very thoughtful and exceptionally well put together book. I entirely disagree with the critisisms of the previous reviewer directly below..

With humor and clear-cut evidence, Wendy Shalit lays out exactly how our society today actually oppresses women in it's quest to liberate them.While using a few Biblical examples, Shalit relies on mostly philosophical arguments for modesty, defending her views with the clarity and wisdom of a women twice her age.Amazingly well-read, Shalit explains why women should not be ashamed to be modest and why women, from young conservative girls to very secular business women, are returning to the ideal of modesty. She quotes everyone from David Hume to Cosmopolitan magazine in this funny, but straightforward, essay on modern women.I recieved this book as a Christmas present and finished it in less than three days. I could not put it down and, even now, several months later, I still pick it up to read on a regular basis. Shalit's wit and clear writing style make this not only a wonderfully insightful and revolutionary book, but an entertaining one as well.

I was 21 years old when I heard a young Wendy Shalit speaking on the Michael Medved showabout your book A Return to Modesty. I consumed that book and loved everyword. Everything she addressed was exactly how I felt. This book has been and continues to be relevant and impactful for women young and older.In my mid-twenties I was often made to feel that my desire to not sleep around or share my boyfriends with other female "friends" was abnormal. Wendy helped validate my feelings and made me realize that I was completely and totally right on. Throughout the past 15 years I have read this book several times. It is one of the few books I can say that about. I have given it asgifts to high school and college girls hoping her words would resonatewith them as it did me. In fact, I am reading her book currently after about 8years, as I am mentoring a young college girl who is struggling with thepromiscuous dating culture. Even after 15 years her analysis,precise observations and humor...all of it still rings true today if not more so.Young woman can still relate. She is releasing a 15th anniversary addition soon with a new introduction that will address sex and social media. This book will always be one of my favorites and I will share it with my own daughter someday. Wendy Shalit is brilliant and an inspiration. If only she would write more! Cannot recommend it highly enough.