Stay

How to start. How to start. Perhaps with what made me unable to put this book down when I got it last evening. First paragraph-" First off, I've never told this story to anyone. Not the entire thing anyway, and not entirely truthfully. I'm only telling it now for one reason, and that's because an untold story has a weight that can submerge you, sure as a sunken ship at the bottom of the ocean. I learned that. This kind of story, those kind of things kept secret- they have the power to keep you hidden forever, and most of all from yourself. The ghosts from that drowned ship, they keep haunting."That first paragraph resonated with me so much that I had to dive in with my head and for once, open up that little place I allow to feel, my heart. I knew Clara from the minute she met Christian and knew exactly why she did every action she did. I'd once held the power Clara felt of having someone love her so much that they'd do anything to keep her. It's powerful and wonderful and scary to be the one that loves less. But it's all consuming and Clara learns that there is a dark side to the power and Christian. And his jealousies and walking on eggshells and having to lie about her past becomes too much. It's emotionally draining. And dangerous in a way Clara can't even imagine. She and Christian were perfect and then Christian, perfect, beautiful, foreign Christian let his insecurities begin to show and there was no forgetting. And there is accommodating and adjusting for certain things in a relationship and then there is what Clara did for Christian.But this is not one of those stories where you can say "Oh stupid girl." and want to shake her because Clara has brought us into the story with her. We are Clara for lack of a better way to explain it. She put little asterisks in her story. Example- She lets us know her mother is dead.* Then at the bottom of the page"*Yes this story has a dead mother. Mine. She had a sudden aneurysm when I was barely four. Died before she could even get to a hospital. Dead mother's have become a story cliche thanks to Disney movies and novel writers. All the dead mothers in books, you'd think it was a common occurrence. Even Dad's books have them. But mine was real. She was no cliche and neither am I." It's Clara's story and she's writing it not Deb Caletti. The author is not between us and Clara. She's removed herself and I kept checking the description of the book to make sure this was fiction and not Deb Caletti's real story.Because the author removed herself from the story, I felt very close to Clara. I identified with her, understood her trying to spare Christian's feelings, trying time and time to remove the hurt. She was a nice girl. She was nice to people and breaking up with someone, well it makes her feel not nice. And she's sure that Christian's reactions are her fault, for that first giddy feeling of power. The one she can't admit to at first but then tells her Dad, her Dad the writer who seems less like a Dad and more like an adult friend that takes care of Clara. He respects her way more than any parent I've ever seen to be called a parent. Yet he is parental when necessary, he doesn't tell Clara "no" when he doesn't like Christian. But when he sees warning signs, danger, he takes action. But if Clara feels shame and can't forgive herself, her father feels even worse. This stalwart man who plays metaphor games and would rather use clues to guess who's house they are renting than google him, the one that insists on protecting his daughter has a big secret. One that changes everything for Clara. She keeps us with her throughout the novel, with her asterisks as if she's sitting beside us letting us know the secret thoughts she had while putting her story down. While unburdening her of the ghosts. More than one passage made me stop and I had to read it over and over sinking into what it really was saying, not just the words on the top layer, but the deeper meaning. I felt so many emotions reading this novel and when I finished it, I wanted to pick it up and start again. And I will. I'll learn something new that I didn't catch the first time as I ate it up. It isn't a light read or easy. It's philosophical and deep with emotion and thought. It is definitely character driven. Clara brings us along through every emotion dragging us through the dirty self doubt and self incrimination to the final triumph of anger. Does she grow in this book? We're sitting here while she tells her story aren't we? Dad is a big character in this novel and I like the relationship he and Clara have. Does Dad grow? From a famous author to a human being, at least for Clara. There is of course Christian. And if you don't know a Christian in male or female form, then you're lucky. I have a magnet for these type of people. There are other secondary characters that bring some much needed relief to the tension in Clara's life.If I had a rating system, stars, hearts, rabbits, hats, gold coins any of the creative things I've seen other reviewers use I'd throw all the things I had into a pot and make the biggest star, heart, rabbit, hat, gold coin and make it dance, sing, shoot fire works whatever. This is the best realistic fiction I have ever read. This is the best YA I have read. This is the best book I have read. Never have I felt more a part of a story, never have I been so involved, so unsure of the outcome, so tentative as Clara moved ahead with her/my life. I wouldn't have Deb Caletti change even one word in this novel. It isn't entertaining. It's more than realistic. It's real.

Also appears on The Screaming Nitpicker.It began at a basketball game and went downhill from there. Clara and Christian's relationship seemed like a dream at the start and maybe even a love that was meant to be, but it soon revealed itself to be a nightmare. Christian's obsession with Clara forces her and her father to flee to Bishop Rock for a summer to get away from him and keep the two apart. Clara, still dealing with all the guilt and fear that her relationship left her with, starts to like Bishop Rock, her snappy boss Sylvie (who's taking a liking to Clara's father), and a sailor boy named Finn. But Christian isn't going away that easily and secrets--not just Clara's secrets, but the secrets of many people--will drown you if you don't let them go.Books about obsession or obsessive love portrayed as such are my ultimate drug. I rarely read them so that I can keep the magic (and also because I have some trouble finding them; I would love recommendations, if you could be so kind), but I love them so much. Caletti took my favorite subject and wrote a phenomenal book I know will join my list of favorites and be reread in the future.For all the ideas out there that getting out of an unhealthy relationship is as easy as saying it's over, it's not that easy. Many times, as in Clara's case, the ex refuses to let it lie and will beg for another chance, sometimes putting themselves and others in danger in the process. The guilt Clara feels, how she had to tiptoe around and be careful about what she said so Christian wouldn't get mad or jealous, that feeling that you have to fix what's wrong because it's your fault they feel that way or it's your job as their loved one--it matches everything I've ever learned from independent research and even what a friend who was once in that sort of relationship told me.Sometimes, it was downright frustrating to see Clara do the things she did for Christian, but that's how it is. She didn't know any better or what she could have done at the time. Stay often reads like a memoir, one woman's tale of her past experiences, and she reflects deeply on what she's been through and what she could have done differently. Lyrical prose with similes, metaphors, and ruminations on subjects like words themselves give Stay depth, though it often goes overboard and has multiple deep musings in just a few pages.This book had me gripped the entire time, especially in chapters and scenes where we go back to when Clara and Christian were dating and what happened shortly after their breakup. Scenes where Christian demonstrated just how deeply obsessed he was left me bug-eyed; my hands shook as they held the book and I read like that was all that kept me alive. Another frustration was the way flashbacks and the present were alternated between for most of the book because I wanted all of the story NOW, darn it, but it kept me reading exactly like it was supposed to.And the story isn't completely about Clara's secrets and the aftermath of her relationship. We get subplots about her father too! Clara and her father had a special, close relationship the likes of which are rarely seen in young adult books anymore, and he was just as enjoyable and flawed of a character as Clara was. Going along with the theme of how secrets can harm you, he had a few of his own revealed slowly throughout the book. Initially, he is just Clara's dad the famous mystery writer; by the end of the novel, he is Bobby Oates to both Clara and the reader and not just the dad anymore. How many books can you name that take the parent and turn them into more than a parent?If I loved it so much, what keeps me from giving it the best rating possible? Two things. This was supposed to be the final copy, but I saw multiple areas where further editing was needed, even when considering Clara's love of sentences that aren't always right grammatically, or blatant mistakes were made. Mistakes like "moving" where "movie" should be, occasional moments of stilted writing, and the misspelling of one character's name. Sentences like "My school was playing his, and I was there with my friend Shakti, who was watching her boyfriend Luke, number sixteen, who was at that moment sitting on the bench and drumming his fingers on his knee like he did when he was nervous (p.2)" make me cringe.Then Clara does something stupid halfway through the book: call her friend and tell her where she is. When it comes to events that push the plot, there are ones that feel like they fall into the natural sequence of events and then there are unnatural ones that feel like they were written in solely to move the plot along. Clara's call felt like the latter. She didn't seem like the kind of character to ignore the advice of a seasoned law enforcement officer who knew what he was talking about when it came to stalkers and obsessive exes.I would love to see a companion novel to Stay from Christian's point of view so we could get his perspective on his relationship with Clara and see just how deep his obsession runs. If there's anything that fascinates me more than seeing obsession through the eyes of the object of obsession, it's seeing the same thing through the eyes of the one with the obsession. I won't hold my breath on that book, but that would no doubt be just as awesome a book as Stay was.

I really liked this book, I will say however I was left wanting there to have been more to the story.....it was a bit anticlimactic BUT it the stories defense it was nicely written and worked well. I did want to keep reading and was well submersed in the story I life the characters and it was all believable, subtle little things gave you the foreshadowing that kept you reading and big hidden secrets that are revealed make the end of the book a fresh start feel.

I loved it, had everything. A brilliant read, the first book I’ve read by this author I would certainly read more.

I have been a fan of Deb Caletti for about five years now and absolutely adore her books. I've given my copies to so many friends to read that I've converted them, too! In Stay, Clara is trying to escape her past, poisonous relationship in order to start again and find peace away from Christian, her obsessive ex-boyfriend. An excellent premise - which Deb's book makes good on. Deb's writing style is flawless - she uses language to describe ordinary, day-to-day things that I've never really thought about, to make them beautiful. This book is no different - I've used my kindle 'highlight' function at least 30 times in this book! Absolutely amazing, thought provoking and above all - an excellent read which pulls you in and doesn't want to let go.

The novel was absolutely wonderful until the ending that never happened. I mean, there was no resolution and there really needed to be when you're dealing with this kind of story. May I just say, Deb Caletti writes so beautifully; she makes each chapter read like poetry."I saw it as praise, falling down now like glittering snowflakes. But it was something else. A drop of poison on that gathering snow. That moment in the fairy tale when we know what just happened but the princess doesn't."The lyrical flow of her writing was the first thing I noticed but the story was equally as strong, it was sad, moving and often creepy too. It's about how someone can find themselves gradually led into a controlling and unhealthy relationship, especially through carefully manipulated power dynamics within the relationship. Clara makes the first move with Christian, she sees from their first few meetings that she has captivated him... and she likes the powerful feeling this gives her. But it's this level of Christian's emotion that later becomes a danger to her when he starts to be jealous of every boy she speaks to.It works as a gripping novel but also as a cautionary tale applicable to real life situations. You might judge someone who has allowed themselves to be caught up in a controlling or abusive relationship, but this book shows how subtly circumstances can change, leading to people who thought they were in a happy, loving relationship suddenly facing a partner they no longer recognise and are inable to escape.The feeling of being trapped and having nowhere to run makes Stay at times quite a frightening story to read. Christian, at first a charming Danish boy with pretty eyes and an accent to die for, turns into a stalker-ish did-something-just-move-outside-my-window kind of character. In my opinion, he was terrifying! But then, all of you who thought it was cute when Edward snuck into Bella's room at night might like this sort of thing (sorry, couldn't resist). I am actually thankful that a young adult novel has finally shown the creepy side of the boyfriend who is that dark shadow over there watching you.While I'm here I'm going to be my usually awkward, picky self and point out the other small negative I found. And that was certain random side stories that didn't add anything to the overall plot. Like ghost stories and the amount of time spent on whats-her-face at the lighthouse. Yeah, that could have been cut out...But otherwise, I really really loved this novel. If the ending had been better it would have been a full 5 star rating easily. But don't be put off: read this book!One more quote:"But if fate is a shape-shifter, then love is too. It can be, anyway, in its most dangerous form. It's your best day, and then your worst. It's your most hope and then your most despair. Lightness, darkness, it can swing between extremes at lightning speed - a boat upon the water on the most gorgeous day, and then the clouds crawl in and the sky turns black and the sea rages and the boat is lost."

Thank you!