Maude

This review might be a little long but I had to really have time to come to terms with my feelings about this book after finishing it. I was really conflicted, not only in how I felt about the main character, but how I felt about the writing and what the author was trying to say. I read this on Kindle as the book intrigued me for several reasons: I love books written from a child or adolescent's point of view which is how this book begins. I love books that have a bit of history or represent an era in which I have an interest. Part of the book takes place in Detroit which is where my mother was born, and where my parents met at Wayne State University in the 1940s. I will say, I could not put this book down, but depending on where I was at in the book, the reasons were different. I'd say the first half of the book or until Maude and her family are settled in Detroit, I was fascinated by her life (though full of sadness and hardships) and how Maude coped with things in her life and her view of the relationships she had, and her faith. The latter half of the book I continued to read because I kept hoping that Maude would act on some of her thoughts and emotions or would show the compassion that she so much wanted from others. Also, I had come this far, and by golly, I was going to finish the book. The first half had me excited to give this book to my 22 year old daughter to read. I thought she'd find it very interesting. Later on, it was so depressing and the characters, even Maude, became so unlikable, that I didn't know if I wanted Blythe (my daughter) to read it, as it did not seem to present a very good light on marriage, motherhood, or Christianity. But after considerable reflection, I've decided I would recommend this book to her and to others. Not because the writing is necessarily great (although I thought the first half was done well), or it is a happy book (though there are moments of humor and happiness) but because it is a sort of "cautionary tale" to learn from. Here are my thoughts as far as the Pros of the book or lessons to be learned:1) Maude says things in a humorous way. Her viewpoint is that of a young girl living in a hard world. She is a hard-worker and understands that we have responsibilities in life that we have to do whether we enjoy them or not.2) It takes work to make a home, especially in those days. The skills that were required and the ingenuity to make a dollar go as far as possible, and the ability to sew, plant gardens, etc., are things that I believe are lost on later generations. I admire Maude's ability, work ethic and tenacity.3) Its important to tell others what you feel, need or want, whether you believe you will receive it or not. I got angry with Maude that so often she had feelings that she would not express, and then be angry at an individual (her second husband for example) for not knowing or giving her what she needed. When Maude sees George (her second husband) being jovial and friendly with the people to whom he is selling off all their belongs for the move to Detroit, she "hates" him, but then, a few minutes after the last item is carried off, she sees him breakdown outside their barn and Maude SEEMS to realize his pain in the situation. WHY didn't she go down and put a hand on his shoulder or acknowledge his feelings. She always just left him alone with his grief, and would pat herself on the back for knowing he'd rather be alone.4) Its important to really read and learn from the Bible. Maude kept stating that the preachers or "church" told her she shouldn't pray for herself, but this is not what the Bible says. Even Christ prayed for his Father to change what was about to take place with his arrest, although he would accept whatever the Lord decided. But Christ still asked. She seemed only to pray for her sons (that she didn't care for) because that is what she was supposed to do, not because she wanted her heart to really change. And for all the reading of the bible she supposedly did, she did not seem to learn from the stories of Isaac (who favored Jacob) and Rebekah (who favored Esau) and what "favoritism" did to their family, or Jacob later showing favoritism to Joseph (which led his brothers to sell him into Egyptian slavery). - In the first chapter of the book, Maude as a small child can tell that her mother favors her older sister. Why would she not realize or believe that Bud and Paul would be able to know or feel her unhappiness with them and their father. I believe she is just as responsible for how they turned out as she believed George was.5) Showing love and mercy to people we may not care for is hard, but it is what we must do. Maude's story of how her first husband came home one night and wanted to make their "nightly relations" as enjoyable for her as they were for him, is an example of love and selflessness. It is a very sweet story and you can tell it meant a great deal to Maude all through her life. She kept waiting for her second husband to do the same, but she never showed him the same interest or love. What I mean is, she didn't seem to realize that it made her first husband (James) happy to please and make Maude happy (not just sexually but in all things). I think she saw a lot of what she did for George and her children as her duty or responsibility but did not think about what effect she could have if she just did things out of christian love, and because it feels good to treat others well, even if she was not feeling strong romantic or maternal love for certain individuals. Sure, we can get hurt feelings when we do something nice for someone and it goes unacknowledged or noticed, but deep inside it still feels better and rewarding to do good to someone anyway. To love is a choice. It doesn't always come naturally - even with those we DO love, we must love them in times of disappointment and anger.6) It is important to find joy in each and every day - even if it is just something small in our lives or routines. We have only one life, and it is a reflection of the choices we make, so we should find a way to bring good and happiness from it.What I found to be negative about this book:1) Most of this book is based on stories the author's grandmother told her about her life growing up in tough times. I think the voice of her grandmother comes through in the chapters about her life until they settle in Detroit. I imagine Maude spoke in great detail and with great emotion about those early years and because of this you can really visualize her life and hear the voices of the people. It doesn't seem that, once her children were adults and life became SO sad (although financial and comfort-wise it may have been easier), the later years were events Maude actually spoke about to her granddaughter and I believe it shows in the writing. At some point, it just became a series of statements or facts without any emotion. I read to get thru it, but Maude seemed to have left her body and was no longer there in the book. If seemed to be just the author's observations of Maude's later life.2) Some awkward writing. Though some argue the writing was juvenile, I felt that in the first half of the book, the writing reflected the thought and speaking pattern of a young girl without much education. I knew it was Maude's way of speaking, not the author's. However, in those last chapters, there seems to be more grammatical errors, and incomplete sentences. One example is when Maude's younger daughter Betty was struck by a car. Thankfully, a copy of the actual newspaper clipping of the the car accident was included at the back of the book, because for the life of me, I was not sure what the author was trying to say about how Betty wound up in the backseat of the car that struck her (I was guessing, but it was NOT clear in the actual narrative).3) Yes, Maude's second husband was not much of a worker or self-motivated. I think he favored Bud and Paul, because he knew they received about as much love and affection from their mother as he did. He loved them because Maude couldn't. Yeah, he did them more harm than good, but Maude did nothing to really help them either. I know she loved her other children a great deal, but they made some pretty stupid choices (over and over again) too..4) If you're a writer, its important to know where the real story ends. I think even the author lost interest or hope in writing this story. This book could have ended as they made their way to or arrived in Detroit. Although the author and her place in the story comes after they are in Detroit, I think what made Maude so delightful earlier in the book, was her hope or belief that things could get better. If things did get better or there were moments of happiness, the last half of the book doesn't reflect it. Maude just seemed miserable and unable to look beyond her own disappointments, personal views and opinions later on and was just bitter. Even the relationship with her granddaughter (who was actually a granddaughter by marriage, not by blood) seemed sort of disconnected. I didn't have much respect for Maude at the end, I just felt sad that she had wasted so much time waiting for others to change or say what she wanted to hear, instead of making those moves herself. Even if ending the story sooner would have left me wondering what became of Maude and her family, I think I would have liked that better than actually KNOWING.

Author, Donna Mabry, retells in vivid detail the life of her grandmother, Maude Foley. Maude was born in 1892, in Tennessee.At seven years old, Maude suffered the loss of both parents. For the next seven years, she lived with her older sister. However, at age 14, Maude’s sister and her brother-in-law decided she should marry. Although Maude wanted to complete her education, she didn’t have a choice. Yet the man she married, James Connor, and she became true soulmates. Her marriage to James brought tremendous joy, and a daughter, Lulu, in 1907.In this sometimes raw bio, the author honestly depicts the story of her grandmother’s life, which is filled with heartache and loss.Several years later, an unmarried Maude accepted two, unchaperoned, buggy rides with her best friend’s brother, George Foley, of Missouri.According to the dictates of the nineteen-hundreds, Maude had to marry George Foley. Remember, at that time, women had no rights. If Maude chose not to marry George, she would be looked upon as immoral. Therefore, after she married her second husband, she and Lulu migrated to Missouri with him.After she conceived four children their loveless marriage rendered no change. George expressed no love and tenderness in their marriage.As the town’s sheriff, George appeared amiable but indolent. He often napped on the job. George appeared weak concerning his mother, a Native American of the Osage tribe. She was a strong,d dominant force in the household. She disliked Maude and did not approve of their union.The author provided a timeline of her Maude’s era, which included the United States entering World War I in 1917. In 1918, after the war, numerous American troops returned home with the Spanish influenza, a pandemic virus, which brought death to thousands. Maude’s family and friends were devastated by the disease too.With the Nineteenth Amendment approved, Maude asserted her right to vote for the first time in November 1920, without George’s permission.During the economic downturn of the Great Depression, in the twenties and thirties, the family lost their home and migrated to Detroit, Michigan. George never again provided Maude with a home of her own. George obtained work, but did not make enough to support the family. Maude worked hard to make ends meet by accepting boarders.A member of the Holiness Church, she poured out her heart in persistent prayers. I admired her strength and prayerfulness, and thanking God for the little necessities we take for granted.Although the mother of three sons, her spirituality and inner peace appeared undermined by her eldest son, Bud, and youngest, Paul.Enmity appeared evident between Maude and their sons, as well as with George. Bud and Paul were the spitting image of George.Like their father, the boys were lazy. They enjoyed carousing and gambling, and showed disinterest in an education. As they matured, they became more self-indulgent.Surprisingly, Maude let George have his way with them. Without protest, George accepted their refusal not to work or attend school. The reason I felt surprised at Maude conceding is she had argued her right to vote. No one is perfectly equipped to raise children. However, along with George, she appeared to put forth no effort providing discipline to Bud and Paul. I think Maude gave up when George refused to agree to place Paul in a special residential school.During the forties, Maude expressed relief when Bud joined the Army.Throughout the book, Maude tried to strengthen her faith during intervals of loss and unhappiness. She displayed no genuine, natural affection for Bud and Paul, and ashamed at her thoughts, she often prayed for forgiveness. She wanted to be in a state of grace, to have a deeper, more intimate relationship with God.I chose to dwell on Bud and George because it concerned Maude’s flaws. She showed favoritism toward her other son and daughter conceived with George.Years later, Maude reviewed all the ‘what ifs,’ and reflected on the consequences of her actions with remorse.Maude impressed me as being sad, lonely, filled with disappointment and loss.Unfortunately, Maude arrived in an era when a woman could not make choices. Yet in her senior years, she maintained her integrity in her actions toward George. She finally found her voice and courage to safeguard her happiness by making a wise choice.I enjoyed reading Donna Mabry’s book on her grandmother, Maude.

It’s just a story that keeps you wanting to see what’s next!!! It’s a story of life, it could be your life….

A sad beginning to life, Maude left an orphan at 8 years old worked hard and at 16 years married the man of her dreams, James. Tragedy struck but she had a lovely little girl, Lulu. Life was made hard but gradually life changed again. Her granddaughter tells the compelling story of her grandmothers full life. Couldn't put it down.

Jump right in a live the life of Maude, an orphan at a young age, talked into marriage at 15 she has two good years before her world falls apart. As Maude herself says some people get more good times than others, her good times are thin on the ground. I found this book hard to read and hard to put down. A wonderful story, it needs to be told.

Really well written book, a completely compelling read. An amazing life story. It showed the real way people had to live through some of the worst times. Loved it.

Absolutely loved this book, and looked forward to going to bed every night and reading what maude and her family were doing! One of the best books I have read in quite a while. , even enjoyed the writing style (I am so fussy about this). Though it starts a little slow it soon picks up the pace. Down load it if you get the chance, you won't be disappointed!!

I really enjoyed this book. Would definitely recommend as an excellent read. I read this book cover to cover and couldn't put it down !