On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the GIFT of Nighttime Sleep

We first read & used this book 18 years ago. Two wonderful, well-adjusted, well-nourished daughters later, I can tell you that it definitely works (and all of our friends that have used it rave about it, too). I just bought another copy to give to a newly-expecting friend and felt the need to post this review after reading some of the other reviews."It's nothing but common sense." -- Maybe for a few, but there are a number of things in the book that go against what might seem natural (how to get your baby to sleep without constant soothing; to get your baby to sleep in their own room instead of having them in your room or even in your bed; the proper sleep, eat, play cycle)."It's dangerous!" -- Not in the least, although we didn't follow every last thing in the book."Your baby will be malnourished; they need to eat at night." -- Yes, infants do need to eat at night. Babywise is NOT about attempting to get your baby to sleep through the night, but rather to get to sleep by themselves (with the reassurance that you're there if they really need something -- process described in the book). When it's developmentally appropriate for your baby to sleep through the night, then they will. That could happen at 8 weeks or maybe 12 weeks (also varies with whether you're breastfeeding, using formula or maybe added a touch of cereal to their diet). Whatever. Nothing in the book attempts to force them to sleep longer than they should or go too long without food."It's not for single parents or the LGBQT community." -- I don't remember if the author wrote about some "biblically-correct" family and passed judgment in the book or not, but if you're getting hung up on that you're REALLY missing the point. The baby-raising techniques listed inside are fantastic -- take away what you can/want and ignore the rest. If you must really dismiss everything in life that isn't perfectly tailored to you, then you're going to miss out on a ton of good information. Get over it. This is important for your baby and you'll benefit greatly as well.Okay -- our experiences. For our first child, our doctors & nurses gave us little advise, but specifically advised us against this book. That's weird. Our first daughter struggled to get to sleep and was generally "colicky." After the first month, my wife was at her wits end and finally gave in to trying the book (our friends had recommended it). Two very simple things were paramount for the immediate turnaround in our baby's life: the sleep-eat-play cycle and getting her to fall asleep on her own.Sleep-Eat-Play cycle: for the first year or so, your baby is going to be on a natural ~3-hour cycle in which they sleep, eat & play and then repeat the process 3 hours later. When your baby wakes up, it is happy and playful and you're excited to interact with it again. The natural thing to do is to play right after the nap and then feed them later. No! Feed them immediate upon them waking up, and THEN play. When they're playing, the moment they show a sign of being tired (rubbing the eyes, yawning, etc.), you put them down to nap immediately. The problem with playing first and feeding later is that after feeding & burping, if they cry or are upset you really have no idea what's wrong: could be hungry still, could have gas, could have a full or poopy diaper, could be too hot or cold, could have something pinching them somewhere, or they could just be tired. By the time you figure out what's really wrong, they are most likely "over-tired" and now won't be able to fall asleep until they crash from exhaustion of crying so long (not fun for you or them!). If you feed immediately after the nap, then you know they're not tired or over-tired and you can resolve the problem before they do get tired.Getting them to fall asleep on their own: this one definitely goes against what you THINK is right, as you want to be there for them every time they cry. The book teaches you the method by which you can reassure them that it's okay without them being dependent on you to get to sleep. While it might seem hokey, they really will learn that they're "okay," even if they don't have constant reassurance of that. They learn a tiny bit of independence and self-esteem and you learn a tiny bit about NOT being a helicopter parent and whooshing in at the very first sign of distress. After a full month of doing things wrong (but naturally) with our first daughter, it took a little bit to adjust her to getting to sleep on her own. On the first attempt she cried for about 45 minutes with us going in several times to reassure her. The second time she cried for about 30 minutes. The next time was about 15 minutes, then 10, then 5 and soon she was going to sleep with little to no fuss. Given the 3-hour cycle, this all happened in just one day. We went from bedtime often being a hot mess to about as good as it can get in one day. Amazing! (combination of not allowing her to get over-tired and her being confident enough to sleep on her own.)We used the BabyWise techniques from the get-go on our second daughter and it was also fantastic. I'm happy to say that both of our daughters (now 18 & 16) are extremely well-adjusted as people, neither were ever malnourished (or overweight), both are exceptional students, and most importantly, both are "good people." We didn't follow every last suggestion in the book, but if you follow the major ones correctly you'll get good results. Your baby will be happier and you'll be happier. Your baby will not turn out like a "robot" as some reviewers insist. Just because you don't immediate pander to every last whim your baby thinks it needs (like rocking it to sleep for an hour every night!) doesn't mean your baby won't "feel the love."

I am so grateful that another mom recommended this book to me. Don't get me wrong, it is not the end all cure to all of your problems, however, it is a huge help! I did not follow every single part of the book like the Bible, however, I did use the general principles and yes, my baby sleeps every night for around 12 hours (7.5 month old). I have read some reviews that claim that this book tries to force your child into a ridiculously strict schedule, however, this is definitely NOT true. This book advises a system that is a middle ground between parents who try to set up their child on an alarm clock system (which the book does NOT endorse) and parents who just try to feed their baby every single time they cry (whether it be every five minutes, or every 5 hours). This book is also really good for newer mothers trying to learn how to figure out what is wrong when your baby cries--is it food, the diaper, sleep, gas, discomfort, etc???--because when your baby is on somewhat of a schedule, you can anticipate their needs. I am so grateful that I read this book. The loose schedules set forth in the book are extremely helpful, and are to be adapted by you to your baby's needs. The only time you could get stressed is if you are trying to push your baby to adapt to a new schedule that they are not ready for! As the book will tell you, babies must be taught to sleep, and it is our job as parents to help them! Also, as a Registered Nurse, I quickly saw that the feeding method and general schedule for the babies as they age makes perfect sense. However, as the book will tell you, you have to also meet your baby in the middle and expect that the schedule will not always be to the minute!! The book will also tell you that every baby is different and will start sleeping longer at different times. Plus, sometimes your baby will go through things that might for a brief time throw off their sleep (i.e. teething, growth spurts, etc.) also, while it happens for a few that the baby starts sleeping through the night at 2 months, this is definitely not the case for all. This book can help you teach your baby good sleep and feeding habits for the long term if you are willing to follow it. And yes, it is ok for your baby to cry sometimes!! You should never let your baby get hysterical, but once babies reach a certain age, you may have to let them cry for ten minutes before they will go to sleep! My husband and I had a real battle with our daughter when she was about 2 months to go to bed at night(she much preferred to stay up until 1-2am), and there were a lot of tears (shed by her and us). However, as parents, sometimes you have to exercise something called "tough love" in order to take care of your child as you should. Because we took the time and underwent the emotional pain it caused us (which I find that many people let their emotions get in the way of this), she started sleeping through the night at maybe 4 or 5 months and is much happier for it! She did not sleep through the night as early as she was born early and had lots of problems with gas and still needed food in the night, we were also traveling extensively at that time. However, she still started sleeping through the night way earlier than most. As an RN, you learn that sometimes in order to help your patient, you have to cause them a little discomfort (i.e. an injection or IV). The same is true in parenting! Now, she sleeps about 12 hours at night, takes 2 naps and 1 catnap in the day, and she is the happiest baby you will ever find! In fact, the only time she is usually crabby is if I am late putting her down for her nap!One other thing is that my belief is that children do not benefit from being the center of the world in the family. You are the parent, and you need to work with your child to get them into a loose schedule (as they get older) that works with the whole family. They are not God. All of life should not revolve around them. Don't get me wrong, when a young baby is hungry or has a real need, everything else has to go on hold. However, you can slowly work with them and bring this to a manageable place. Let me put it this way, if your marriage goes down the drain because you fail to spend time together as a couple and maintain your relationship since all of life revolves around baby, what happens to baby? Baby will have a very miserable life in an unhappy home. The first chapter of the book addresses these issues.

This is a must have for the parent who wants to sleep through the night and raise a well adjusted child.

Good Read for a first time mom. It taught me a lot of good methods when it comes to feedings and bedtime with a newborn. Lots of very helpful tips for every stage. I got the paper back book, it is good quality and held up nicely when flipping through the pages. Great purchase.

I have 5 children now ages 5-15. I followed this book from day 1. I watched friends and my sister follow these principles and noticed how much sweeter and well behaved their kids were compared to those who didn’t. I knew I wanted that for my own family. These principles gave me peace of mind and helped me understand what my babies needed. My babies were quiet, sweet, happy, and predictable. They began sleeping through the night around 8 weeks, some earlier and 1 later. Because the one didn’t sleep through the night as she was supposed to, we were able to take her to our doctor and figure out she had food allergies.It makes me so sad when parents complaint about not getting any sleep. It doesn’t have to be that way!I 1,000% recommend this book to new parents!