Hawthorn Inn (The Catalyst Series: Book #1) (Volume 1)

The basic premise of the story is good, but it an undisciplined work resulting from grammatical errors, poor sentence mechanics, and improper word choice. Too many times the word" passed" was used instead of "past", several sentences were incoherent, and the word "amongst" was quite redundant. All of these were distracting to the reader and made it hard to focus on the story. I would encourage the writer to read books by a variety of well-known and widely published authors in order to build a better vocabulary. Don't just whip out a thesaurus and expect to know how to use words. Practice by using new words in conversation as well as writing. Many successful writers will advise you to write what you know. Don't try to impress your readers with elaborate words with which you are not familiar. Let your own words flow as you write. Ask a former teacher or someone who is knowledgeable about writing to read your work and assist you in editing it. Finally -- by all means -- proofread before final publication, please!

I didn't find an a error until two thirds of the way through chapter two. I don't understand why editing was perfect until then and then it was completely absent. Did a draft get published by mistake?ERRORSLOC: 235 disappoint(ment)262 attention to (the) path335 halt . The person (remove space)369 He stepped forward (not H stepped ...386 plenty (of) other tables410 Emily looked ( at or to) Amanda to listen557 Jack mentions a rodent. What rodent? Only a shadow was mentioned609 where he had come (from).639 meantime (one word)656 ought to or oughtta ? (not outta )677 past not passed702 "K mom," ( K correct if texting not speaking, then it's OK)709 Jack led the group passed through the front doors (delete passed & it should have been past anyway)765 hoping for some(thing) more impressive842 recovered ( from ) his scare ( not for )900 past not passed980 a couple (of) dozen people1003 with a (frown) not frowned1024 "K, mom," (OK)1068 the kitchen. and (remove period)1103 As they put on their coats and Emily mom opened (delete either Emily or mom)1115 had ( broken ) apart (not broke)1129 She gave wrapped her arms around his shoulders. (Well your guess is as good as mine for that one!)1143 Dark Ages (not dark ages)1148 while ( not wile )1161 A strong pair of arms slid beneath his limp body and slung one arm over a pair of firm shoulders. (One too many arms here - need to specify)1177 soothe ( not sooth )1207 "Let's see ( not "Le's see )1209 which ( were ) now littered about1214 and slurped down the ( dregs ) ( not dredges )Some of these errors would be funny if they weren't so darn annoying1241 groaning ( from ) down the hall,"1242 peeked not peaked1265 Why did the phone receiver suddenly become a mic?1267 came the voice on the other line ( NO either: on the line or: on the other end of the line )1267 Jackcould ( Jack could )1269 when the other line (the other end of the line )1276 which ( was ) nailed on the wall ( not were )1280 the new arrangement ( was ) made ( not were )1300 on purpose or ( by ) accident,1306 reply . Jack (delete space after reply )1312 didn't even have ( the right ) to tell him ( not have any ability to tell him )1322 I do not ( intend ) for ( not intent )1391 had ( entered ) the room ( not enter )1395 and ( he ) quickly (not she )1417 affirmed . He (delete space after affirmed )1447 ( he ) impishly ( not his )1464 think of(comma)" Jack admitted1470 He wondered if(comma) when his mom ( or delete the other comma in the sentence )1505 sounds ( tempting ), but ( not temping )1541 take ( a while ) unless ( not awhile - that means a short time which is not correct in this context )1582 The intervals stretched from days to sometimes a few weeks, but never longer than a fortnight. (now that just makes no sense at all. Several means more than two! )1584 some ( kind ) of entry book ( not kinda Or: keep kinda and delete of )1586 a couple ( of ) hundred1615 Even the outside needed ( to be ) swept of cobwebs.1625 They were a raw and pink from all the scrubbing ( delete a )1645 made him to understand ( delete to )1649 heavy ( and ) his ( not ad )1650 jerked ( awake ) by ( not away )1682 peace not piece1724 "( How're ) you doing ( not how )1750 "But ( you're ) able ( not you )1770 and work . The ( delete space after work )1771 jaywalkers and ( loiterers ) as they ( not loiters ) 1772 Merchan's ( Realty ). Trees ( not realty )1778 friend ( agreed ), and ( not agree )1785 floor ( shone ) beneath their ( not shown )1788 two circular metal staircases ( do u mean spiral staircases? )1838 to such ( refinement ) ( not refinery )1879 how ( badly ) it flooded." ( not bad. A refined lady would never say bad! )1895 past not passed1924 spoon ( three ) red stains ( not through )1937 the bed.. ( delete one of the .'s )1964 A cemetery has been ( ?needed ) sooner than1974 entrance.He ( insert space )1990 Jack, struck dumbfounded by ( No. Either: Jack, struck dumb by Or: Jack was dumbfounded by )1990 curiosity was ( peaked. ) ( not peeked )2012 didn't like ( the ) fact that his ( not that )2109 was ( slowly ) pulling ( not slowing )2112 The two ( peeked ) their heads ( not peaked )2234 followed his grandfather ( past ) the ( not passed )2242 wafted ( past ) his nose. ( not passed )2242 as the ( mouldering ) air was ( not moulding )2243 stepped ( past ) him ( not passed )2329 A cool hand ( brushed ) aside ( not brush )2332 he blinked ( open ) his eyes ( not opened )2364 He was too stubborn to have anyone conquer over him, ( Well, your guess may be better than mine )2396 and he quickly stood to his feet. ( Is it just me or is this annoying? He's hardly going to stood to his hands. Doesn't make sense. He simply stood. Or: quickly got to his feet. Not the only time this silly term is used either. )2433 Their shadows were ( docile ) and ( not darn domicile. Does this author have a nutter version of autocorrect?? )2488 Ts they piled ( assume it should be They piled)2564 Kyle greeted as his rallied his composure returned. (Hmm. Maybe: Kyle greeted (and ) as ( he ) rallied his composure returned. ( I think, perhaps? It's quite hard work interpreting this story as it progresses. )2606 His mom would might not believe them at first ( delete either would or might )2614 "Yeah, she'll believe us," Jack insisted. "Um, no, she's not," Kyle suggested ( no, she won't ) MY FAVOURITE and cringed at the lack of proper grammar and spelling errors. ( No, there's no error. I just thought it extremely ironic! ) 2752 ( The ) people flitted ( not there )2772 "You took can take ( delete took )2848 knickknacks and ( baubles ) while ( not bobbles )2858 two hundredth and fiftieth ( No. two hundred and fiftieth )2872 That included the gentleman on the stage with them, who kept his hands firmly inside his arms. (Hmm. I'm a nurse and have never yet seen a human being manage that trick thus far! ) I assume she means he kept his arms folded with his hands trapped beneath them. (He was avoiding clapping at the time )2897 "Well, ( Jack and I ) worked ( not me and Jack - wrong on so many levels )2952 his friend stood to his feet. ( here we go again. His friend stood or: he got to his feet )2972 "This ( ought to or oughtta (if you absolutely have to)} be easy ( not outta - meaning out of )3058 ( moldering ) air ( not molding )3123 try to ( leave ) the way we got in?"3129 It was something short and round, and metal reflected the light. ( No idea. Aren't told what it is in this book ( it's actually part of a book as it doesn't actually end in this portion )3144 let out ( a ) great bellow ( not the )3148 efforts ( lasted ) only ( not last )3160 This one was a doozy. Author got the main character's name wrong. His mother no less was speaking at the time. James should be John (although he calls himself Jack ) His name first appears loc 350 as John3231 still ( too ) jumbled ( not to )3338 and ( he ) looked at the alarm ( alarm is right, author keeps calling Jack she instead of he. )3346 greeted by several voices groaning ( no, not several, just two. Jack and Kyle makes two. Several is more than two. )3364 and when they pulled ( away ) he forlornlyHmm 111 errors. That's way too many. Obviously no final proof-read of the final draft was done. I don't understand why authors are in such a rush to publish that they are willing to foist error strewn stuff like this on we the tortured reader. I usually stop at 10% if the errors are so frequent that they destroy the flow of the story. For some reason I stuck with this one in the hope that it would improve. It didn't. Nor did the story actually finish. A book is supposed to have a beginning, middle and end. This one, not so much. In fact this part of a book was the beginning and I'm not going to be forced into buying books two & three or however many there may be. Don't like this type of switch and bait marketing by authors. Much happier to pay more for what is an actual book. I don't see any paper books trying this technique. They wouldn't get away with it. The poor book seller would be pelted with the object of our frustration. Ouch!So, the stars. 2 as it stands. Too many errors. Too little story completion. Too little too late.Do not recommend until the errors have been removed. There may well have been more than the 111 that I noted. I wasn't actually looking for them, they just kept interrupting me.Also should be marketed as Part One of a book, not masquerading as a whole tome.There are a couple of good one-liners in there, but would improve with more of that quirky humour for example: when the little old lady falls to the ground avoiding a large black vehicle there is the following:Her name was Gertrude Grover, lately of the ground and now in a foul mood.I was hoping for more of this but it didn't happen. More of the interaction between the two old ladies, but it didn't happen. Yet, anyway.Disappointing would me my summation. Promise did not come to fruition.I am still shell-shocked by the number of errors as I gather this author has previously published. One would hope these offerings may have been edited a little better, commiserations if they weren't. I may still look at other books by this author, but not just yet, I'm still a little error shy.

what started out as a 5* book quickly got down graded to a 3*. to me nothing is worse than being totally into a book to be hit with typos and editing errors. my enjoyment stops immediately while i try to figure out what the author was trying to say. i truly understand authors wanting to self publish. However i as a reader should not subjected to below par editing. good thing this book was free or i would be asking for by money back. why not offer beta readers free future books if they would also report any editing and/or typo problems along with story line problems. sorry but i will not PAY for the next version in this series.

Cool story that was filled to the brim with secrecy,mystery and a beautiful old Inn that's hidden it skeletons in the closest for hundreds of years.Jack and his mum move to the old Inn and things are weird from the get go.Jacks mum is oblivious to how many secrets this Inn has. Her only goal is to get the beautiful place back to its former glory.As for Jack he meets an over eager kid who is busting his butt wanting to see the Inn.Kyle is one strange funny kid and tells jack that the house holds secrets and no one has been aloud to enter it for a long time. They head off exploring jack feels uneasy about the Inn and is not real keen to explore the spooky old place but his friend is persistent and jack gives inn.Odd stuff begins to happen and jack is creeped out by all the secrecy and to top it off his estranged grandfather has come with them and he is as odd as the house.The detail to attention is brilliant you can just imagine the old Inn as if it was right in front of you! As if your walking through it with the Author exploring its antique quality and its prestigious stature and stories it must hold of old times passed.The story is intriguing mysterious and exciting. It keeps you engaged and interested as to what the mystery is and why and what and omg I didn't expect that.I look forward to the next instalment to see what's install for Jack and Kyle and what will be unravelled.Assassins Reading Reviewing Group ~

Nothing ticks me off more than a book that doesn't end so you are enticed to pay for the followup book. Not going to happen. The story was pathetically slow, the book was in serious need of editing, with more and more errors as you go, and the it just wasn't interesting. I would've have given it a 2 star rating as a young adult/teen book, but with the cut-off ending, I simply could not do it. This is a marketing tool that angers me to no end.

This is bad. I gave up about quarter of the way through. I'm not sure if there is a story underneath all the bad writing, by the time I gave up nothing had actually happened.The writing style is very poor, the layout full of mistakes. The spelling atrocious. Worse than the bad spelling are the numerous words used incorrectly. To paraphrase a famous quote 'That word does not mean what you think it means'.

This looked as though it could have gone somewhere interesting, unfortunately, as others have said it was very slow in getting there. The young female character who is introduced, seemingly as part of the gang, at the start seems to be forgotten about in short order. The two main characters are very two dimensional, one being so hyperactive and random as to be a distraction from the story and the other being just plain bland.The language use was...odd to say the least. The MC's mother is frequently described as haggled. I am not sure whether this is a misunderstanding, a typo, or something else entirely. There are grammatical and spelling errors littered throughout the book and they really do detract when you have to pause and work out what the author means.I suspect that a good proofreader and a thorough edit to cut out some of the extraneous chapters, could turn this into an interesting supernatural piece (although I am guessing not a ghost story, which is what I bought it as). Sorry to say that I will not be spending money on any of the other books in the series.

Oh dearie me.. What have I just read?This book wasn't even for young adults but for 9 year olds. I waited and waited for something to happen and it didn't.My biggest gripe is that there were some really odd phrasing which left me reading the sentence 3 or 4 times. We all know how the misspelling of a word can change the whole meaning of a sentence and in this book it happened much too frequently for me to ignore it.The characters were annoying to the point that I thought that Kyle had something seriously wrong with him and as previously noted by another reviewer , there was constant eye rolling and pinching the bridge of noses.So if you want to read about 2 little boys, a grandpa so weird with his grandson it's uncomfortable, and a house , then be my guest. You'll get nothing else.

I personally didn't like the writing style. I'm only giving 2 stars as I know it's hard to sit and write a book. THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS BOOK IS THE COVER GRAPHICS. If I didn't know better I would think more than one person had written this - or the author got bored after a while. One minute I would be reading a long flowing description of something and the next minute the speaking parts or the next bit of story was abrupt. The characters were not at all well formed and I didn't feel any empathy towards any of them, Especially Kyle who was a one dimensional idiot with his eye rolling and barging in. Note to the author as well: Lots of silly mistakes, bad grammar and typos all over the book and if the description says that something in the distance is away from the trees it is PAST and not PASSED. It may be wise to re-edit the entire book and take it down until it is re-done.

I enjoyed this story. It captutred by concentration and I was only too glad to keep going back to it. There's something odd about Grandad. Unsure if Kyle is right and he is a vampire, but, he could be a Werewolf. I think Jack has inherited part of what Grandad is but we may never find out.My only gripe with this book is that it doesn't seem to have been proof read. So I wonder if its a self published book. There are far too many grammar and spelling errors. I know that the odd one can go unlooked but this book has far too many of them.I enjoyed the story though.

I wanted to like this book, it felt like it had a lot of promise, but I feel it was one of those books that was published before it was really finished. The two main characters, teenage boys Jack and his new pal Kyle, were well drawn. The supporting cast, however were either sketchy or stereotypes. And the female character was mostly absent. The prose was was good, though inclined to be clunky, and the author had some ability to tell a story, but the two boys seemed to fall over each other a hell of a lot! It's obviously a first effort, and needed a ruthless edit and a good polish. On the basis of this weak offering, I don't think I will be reading another of this author's novels.