The Marriage Journey: Preparations and Provisions for Life Together

My partner and I were required to read this as part of a pre-marriage exercise with my Episcopal church. Our rector has been married 20 years - but is also divorced, and according to him "If we'd read this, we never would've gotten married." I can believe it. This is NOT a bunch of theoretical, theological musings on the concept of marriage - this is a WORKBOOK with PRACTICAL exercises!This workbook is designed to get you and your partner to talk about things that you may shy away from discussing because it is difficult, uncomfortable, or embarassing to talk about - or because you may have strong opinions or differences about. The point is, you can't know everything about someone before you marry them, as life together will be a journey of co-discovery. BUT you CAN at least go into the marriage with your eyes wide open, and with the 'honeymoon' blinders stripped away, so that you know you can work through whatever challenges come your way.For example - are you messy or a neat-freak? That may seem like a minor issue that you think you can overcome - but chances are, especially if you choose not to live together before marriage, you will have no idea how big of a conflict this can be... and once you move in together, if you're not married you're likely to minimize the conflict by deflecting or re-directing the conversation to avoid fighting, or to avoid having to change the way you like to live.The gift of this book is that it allows you to discuss differences when your guard is down - meaning, for example you are sitting on the couch for your 'workbook session' for the week, and you come to this question about how neat or messy are you.... it's not being discussed because someone just tripped over shoes left by the door (again), or just stepped on a pile of important papers on the floor of the home office that were supposed to be put away a week ago. You're just sitting on the couch, and the question is there, and there's no inflammatory situation driving the conversation. It's your best chance to get through these conversations without resorting to a defensive-offensive position where you attack because you're feeling attacked.Here's the thing: if you can't work through this book without fighting, or more importantly, without discussing your feelings without attacking your partner, you *should* seriously consider whether you are marriage material, because the stress of discussing these questions will pale in comparison to the stress of a major illness, or a major financial hardship, loss of a job, or other life stressors.So what about us? Well, we LAUGHED about a LOT of these questions, because we are honest with ourselves and each other about our strengths, our weaknesses, our habits, etc. We never faught, but it did cause some very serious discussions about long-term changes we wanted to make... like, when we are more financially-set, we want to bring in a professional organizer to evaluate our home, so we can reduce clutter and improve the way we use our limited space. It solidified our thoughts about children, and generated real discussion about issues we 'thought' we talked about, but had only scratched the surface.In the end, happily, we know we are going to be just fine... and if you're on the fence whether you need to even bother with a book like this to know, ask yourself: If your partner became infirm and you had to change his or her diapers, would you? My mother always said that's a great test of whether you truly love someone - and if your answer is "no way - that's gross!" I strongly recommend you buy this book, because chances are there are a lot of other things you need to discuss!

I’ve been using this book with engaged couples for at least 10 years. It’s full of thoughtful questions and projects that help people turn over some rocks they might have ignored. Also, and this is important- the authors’ theology of marriage is both compassionate and contemporary- though, let it be said, it’s time past for them to update their language, I.e.. not all couples are heterosexual. 🤔

I've used this book for my pre-marital counseling since 2004. I like the format and the questions at the end of each chapter. Generally I ask the couples to read each chapter together but to answer the questions separately and then to compare their answers. We review their answers when we meet and I use it as a basis for my counseling. The authors are realistic and grounded. It also makes a nice gift to engaged couples.

This was recommended to me by my pastor. It is great. It is helping my fiance and I prepare for life together. I recommend it to all couples getting ready for marriage and those already married.

I've used this for years. Approachable, sensible, real world direction and advice from a couple who have been there. It's voice is quite Episcopalian, but it works for almost any possible spiritual background, even atheists. Very practical resource, with two writers who you come to trust and like immediately.

Good information. I've used this book for several years now. Good for anyone contemplating marriage. Give a lot of food for thought.

Book has been helpful and the product seemed only slightly used.

Very informative and refreshing for a single guy.

Arrived very quickly, all in very good condition.Need it for our pre-marital prep, can't wait to get started with it!