Dear John, I Love Jane: Women Write About Leaving Men for Women

This book of essays from various women is a gem. It reminded me that I’m not alone in my circumstances, nor is my experience of falling in love with a woman while married to a man, invalid. These stories resonated down to my bones and within my soul. The feeling of being found when not being aware that you were lost or misplaced is something that one simply cannot truly understand unless you’ve experienced it, personally.I’m eternally grateful for the beautiful woman who held my heart. I believe that’s the moment that truly brought me to life. As if I was merely walking around this world simply existing before she shocked my soul into rhythm. That experience was full of joy, pain, elation, awe, disappointment, freedom, isolation, fear, revelation, growth, and most importantly, love. I would not give it up for anything.If you or a loved one is experiencing some confusion or any of these feelings, I recommend reading Dear John, I Love Jane, as it is refreshing to know you’re not alone and gives numerous perspectives on how love can present itself in our lives.Thank you for this wonderful book.

This is a great book for anyone who is struggling with their sexuality. This book has stories from people from all walks of life. It is automatically assumed that people have always known when they were gay, but that simply isn't true. Some women come out later in life because they wanted to fit in with what society thought was acceptable, so they got married, had kids, and played the role of being a good housewife, only to suffer in silence. Some women didn't realize they gay until they were in their adulthood years and had a life-changing experience that opened up their eyes. I can relate to most of the stories in this book. I didn't realize that I liked the same gender until I was 16 years old. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd never dated boys when I was a teenager, but I did have a few crushes on a couple of people from the opposite sex. I got into a relationship when I was 20 years old, had my child at 22, and broke up with her father for good 5 years ago. During our relationship, the thoughts of being with another female went away, and I thought that it was a phase that I was going through, but after my break-up with my child's father, I realized that I was still attracted to females and this time, the feeling was stronger than ever. If you are a person who is struggling to accept yourself as a gay women, read this book and it will make you feel so much better knowing that you are not alone. Highly recommended.

The stories in this book made me laugh, brought me to tears, and inspired anger - over and over again. Its not every day that you can read a bunch of well-written shorts by women who led lives with men, then switched to women, happily. There were no stories of women who chose women and then "saw the light" and went back to men. These are stories that show the anguish of living, loving, and growing with a man - all the while feeling something missing inside. These women fill the void with the love of another woman, which is no easy feat. Every happiness comes with a price. I can relate to these ladies more than I can in stories where the characters have only ever had relationships with women. Thank you so much for giving me something so powerful and enlightening, something I can relate to on the deepest of levels.

I love the subject of this book and it is much more common than you may realize! The editors admit in the intro, however, that they had an extremely small pool of submissions to choose from. I imagine that is why the writing is only so-so. Some of the stories just didn't translate the profundity and sentiment which they were attempting. The editors could have announced the call for submissions more widely or waited until they had more from which to choose. It gets a 4 for originality and the attempt...but it could have been GREAT with just a bit more effort.

In "Dear John, I Love Jane" those of us who came out later in our lives, and especially after serious relationships with men (and often after having children), have found a place where (as editor Candace Walsh puts it) we could find "retreat that involved a tall stacked-stone fireplace and tumblers of shiraz."I wanted to connect. But the lesbians I met were not like me. They were Gold Star, they were kids, they had played both sides and were just deciding. They'd always known. In this book I found women like me. I appreciated their stories that shared SO MANY elements with my life. They were honest. They helped me be so as well. They said the things out loud that I was still afraid to say. They used exact terms that floated through my head over these past three years. They described feeling powerful, and feeling lost. They cried over missed events with children, or never looked back on their marriages. Most of them had been with men they described as "good, loving, kind, understanding." They had been in relationships with their best friends. But still they needed to leave. Needed to explore and understand the turmoil inside of them.I wish I had this book when all this started. Or maybe I don't. Maybe you do need to find some of these things out for yourself. In any case, the book is here now. And it gives a loud and strong voice to women who find their truth in a variety of ways. I didn't always agree with the "hows" but I strongly identified with all the "whys."The writing is varied and runs from easy and conversational to more disjointed prose. Some of the stories flow effortlessly to a joyous conclusion - some end in pain, and give the impression of one foot in the past, one in the present. Not a great way to live, but very much part of the process.I keep wondering if this book will resonate beyond women like me. Can it help long-time lesbians understand their partners? Would it be helpful to ex-husbands (I struggle personally with this one). How about parents? Mine are dumbfounded (if not supportive) of my truth. I don't trust that KNOWING more women are like me would help them or not. I'll have to consider it more.