On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families

Dr Kubler-Ross is a hero of mine. To the point that I did an assessment on her life and discovered a headstrong child who wanted to FEEL what life was like. She grew up in Switzerland during WWII, an identical twin in a triplet birth. She grew up unrecognised as an individual, part of the circus of attention that triplets bring. When she was 16 and the war had ended, she walked to Russia and back again, working in the reconstruction of post-war Europe. She stood in the doorway to the chambers at Maidanek, a Polish concentration camp. She looked at the wooden walls, etched with last messages and images of butterflies symbolising life after death. She met a 16 year old Jewish survivor ~ only survived because she was unable to fit into the chamber that stole the lives of her family. Elisabeth asked her about her hatred of her captors and the girl replied something about not strewing the seeds of hate, that we all have an inner Hitler when we are faced with our own mortality. With that, she went to medical school in Zurich, met an American student, married him and moved to America. She turned her focus from pediatrics to psychology, and began to notice how terminal patients were virtually ignored in hospitals ~ as though dying was something to be ashamed of. She began to visit patients, sitting with them as they talked, listening to their needs and their stories, finding that there is a wealth of wisdom in those frail people. Dr Kubler-Ross believed in the dignity of living with dying. She polished the art of listening to the needs of terminal patients, how to allow them to pass with tenderness and non-intervention. To make dying a time of preciousness and honour. She taught me how to be present for my mother when she died. When I got the call that Mama needed me, I didn't know what to do. As I packed to take the plane over land and oceans to go home to Delaware, I brought 'On Death and Dying', I brought a Ram Dass recording "Here We all Are" and a Crowded House cd with 'Fall at Your Feet'. Each one was instrumental in helping me give my mother a loving, hands-on, joyful exodus from the pain of cancer. I recommend this book highly. Not only for assisting with a peaceful death, but as a sufferer of the grief of losing someone who meant the world to me. Kubler-Ross' Five Stages eventually became a recognised Psychological Theory on the Five Stages of Grief. Worthwhile to read once, enlightening to read over and over again.

My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 1979. Back then treatments were horrible; it was almost harder to watch her suffer than her actual death). She died 2 months later from the date she was diagnosed (10/29/79 - 12/29/79. I was not functioning; I was lost, I was having all these new feelings. A friend suggested reading On Death and Dying. This book saved me from lying down and dying myself. It is THE book which guides you through the stages of grief you go through when a friend or loved one is dying, died or after their death. Learning the stages of grief allowed me the ability to function. It grounded me, my thoughts were no longer going in circles, and I was able to concentrate again. I have since read it probably 4 times - when relatives died. It helped as much the last time I read it, as it did the first. Since then, I have given at least 10 books to friends. I purchased this one for a friend who lost her mother to cancer, just after her husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer - just like my mom. All agreed this book helped them more than any other book or therapist (because it's available 24/7). You’ll read and re-read the stages of grief to get you through the difficult time of losing someone. I wish I knew of this book as soon as she was diagnosed. The pain of losing mom didn’t change, but I was able to get through it much better for having read it. I know I would not have been able to go back to college without the knowledge learned from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

I had read this book years ago and really had forgotten about it. WOW, this was worth the time rereading it and even learning more the second time. A must read for people dealing with critically or terminally ill relatives or friends.

I recommend this book to everyone as we all come to this place ourselves and, until then, see or hear of many others that we may or may not be close to come to this place in one way or other and for one reason or other. What I ultimately love about this book is the truth behind it all as knowledge and knowing are always a good thing in my opinion. Seeing anchor hearing (learning about the different ways in which people react and cope is fascinating and needs to be addressed and always taken into consideration. After all, our own denial and personal lack of knowledge on the subject is Not doing anyone any favors (including ourselves.). What a benefit and privilege it is to be able to be of some service to those who need it as well as for someone to be of some service to us when our time comes. Small or large ways that we can contribute in a good way to make what could be otherwise a negative experience and turn it into a positive one simply because we can. Simple choices, not about money or education but just about love and consideration showing that the person is truly cared about right to the end as we would hope to feel ourselves in their situation. What I found hard about this book is to read how some really are treated like things and objects and aren't listened to or have their feelings considered in a big way and it may be due to upping the mighty dollar or just to try and prolong without there being any value knowing the inevitable outcome. This is NOT a game! These are living, breathing humans who have the God given right to their dignity and respect if we know these people or not. Our lives depend upon it just as much, if not more, as we are the ones being left behind to reap the consequences of our actions. They will soon be in a place of peace. Who are we to choose not to give them the final farewell as a kind and loving one. On the contrary, we would want to make it our number one goal to take in every consideration to their feelings big or small. Why be in a hurry? Kindness has no time limit. Giving of our time means EVERYTHING, so lets choose to do that. A glass of water, a smile, a nice warm washcloth or helping to take for a short walk or read them a story or tell one your own. I am personally moved by the words from this book and feel it should be in schools to learn with no charge. It could, after all, change the world as we know it. Right down to the killings in war potentially being a thing of the past as well as violence of any kind. It may stop the epidemic of starvation bring food to the living all over the globe. Less crime comes with more Heart. Think about it, this one change could honestly move mountains. Just open your eyes and Be That Person wanting to truly bring good to another person. Just because you choose to.

This little book is a trend setter and is fun and enlightening to read.

Bought as a replacement

The quintessential book on the subject: Great book should be required reading for most

This book is thought provoking. It describes well how the people behaves when they face death. As a medical professional this book encouraged me to give personalized care for every patient. It showed me how to handle my own illness and to have emotional stability