She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband

This helped me to understand better my own transgender husband. However, I felt Helen spent a lot of time talking about her personal feminist issues, rather than sticking to the story about dealing with Betty. Those areas where Helen did talk about her fears and concerns I did find helpful - I no longer feel alone. I did feel though that as a couple they are both either ignoring or denying Helen's feelings about Betty's trans sexuality.How does Helen feel about Betty ultimately rejecting her physically, emotionally and sexually? How does Helen feel about Betty getting hormone injections, or SRS? Does Betty leave Helen at home evenings while she goes out with her trans friends? Does Betty refuse to let Helen know any of her trans friends? Do Helen and Betty go places or do things together where both would be dressed as women? How does each feel about that? Does Betty talk endlessly about trans friends, hormone therapy and SRS (ad nauseum)? Are there support groups for straight women married to trans MTFs in SF where a person like myself can get help? Etc, etc etc?

I thought the book was a great look inside the mind of someone who is married to a person who is transgender and considering transition. I thought it was really interesting the whole way through, and like most of it. I can't fault her for being honest, but parts of the book seem pretty defensive to me, and while she enjoys being married to someone who's trans, it's almost like she feels guilty for doing so. I also think it would have been nice to hear more about their feelings, and a little less of putting words in the mouths of "most wives". Other than that, I really enjoyed the read, and thought it was really insightful.BTW, if you are confused, she describes anyone who presents as female on a part time basis only as a "crossdresser", regards of their reasons for doing so or their gender status. I was a little confused by this at first.

Wish there were more books like this

Buen desarrollo del tema con conceptos serios y amplios sobre una situación de difícil manejo en muchas situaciones.

This is a nonlinear journey through the joys, pain, uncertainty and hope of marriage to a trans person. The author frankly confronts many of the issues and offers her very perceptive view from a feminist perspective. She doesn't hold back, and this benefits us all, spouses, trans people and friends.

Whether you're a MtF in transition or the SO of one, this is simply the most honest and winsome understanding of the experience. No book I can think of so forthrightly and compassionately considers all facets that a transitioning couple experience. You owe it to yourself to read this book!

Helen Boyd shares her thoughts and feelings in a clear and open way.I have found it to be very helpful in reflecting on the many issues around crossdressing and the trans experience.

A good guide for anyone wanting to see a supportive (mostly) spouse's view of what going through transition with someone who is transgender is like. Based on life so it is not all rainbows and skittles, but it gives hope that transition does not have to kill a marriage

This is a intensely thoughtful book about gender, for those that need to think hard about it. It provides a very sobering discussion that is well-researched and argued by one who has both the practical experience, and the literary skills to connect the dots. As such it is a good supportive read for partners, and an essential read for anyone remotely considering a swap (M2F or F2M).

I am the partner of an FTM (female to male) transgendered person, but have found very few books that cater to any partners. I thought I would give this book a try hoping that the experience would be similar, and it did not disappoint. It's an honest and frank look at what it's like for a partner to watch someone transition. It particularly helped me look at my own gender and sexuality and how society perceives me and my partner. Highly recommended.

very happy

really well-written in a way that anyone could see themselves in the protagonist.

Excellent book for any woman coming to terms with living with a transgendered husband or partner, which I was. Very helpful. One tiny gripe - it was a bit full of angst. I have the attitude that you need to deal with the situation and then get on with life in your new roles. My partner is still the same person - even with a gender change. The situation has had many beneficial effects on our lives too.