Are you in the unfortunate position of befriending your local Scrooge? In which case send them a card recognising their successes of being so tight this year, while also explaining just why you couldn't be bothered to get them any present worth more than a fiver. Or any present. "I've Worked Out What To Get You For Christmas. Something cheap and nasty just like You" Card dimensions: 126x178mm. Packed in a cellobag with envelope. Standard letter post. Blank inside.
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