What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind

"C'est Magnifique!"The intoxicating allure of Sophie Marceau, the disturbingly deep dark erotic attraction of Eva Green, and seductive sensualizing hypnotic essence of Marion Cotillard all make perfect sense now!!! French women may not be as voluptuously endowed as their fellow female counter parts across the pond but their sophisticated "laissez-faire" demeanor and unapologetic sense of personal style, classic fashion awareness and impeccable taste places them on a whole different level. Debra Ollivier has definitely done her research, as one (an American male) who has dated French women from various regions within France, "What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind", is quite accurate in numerous areas.Admittedly, many years ago, I was among the uninformed regarding the subtleties and nuances of dating various types of woman from abroad. I had somehow come to believe (I guess as a result from watching way too many foreign films...Lol) that most women were pretty much the same all round the world....how wrong I was!!! Every moment and experience shared with my former French loves took on a whole new meaning. Every meal prepared with fresh organic ingredients that we shopped for daily and shared with friends became a culinary etiquette masterclass for me. Every unforgettable improvised summertime picnic spent frolicking in the warmth of the sun, eating baguettes, cinnamon apple slices, and Brie de Melun cheese created luxurious landscapes of Monet's famous Giverny Garden within my minds eye.Wine for the first time in my life took on an aromatic flair and seductive essence that only a seasoned lover could. Like an elegant bolshoi ballerina delicately dancing the first movements of Swan Lake, Cabernet Sauvignon leaped across my palette as if to enact a Grand Jeté. No room for egos here, my foreign amours were my teachers and I, their humble student. A education in french female etiquette worth its weight in gold was what I received as I seamlessly transitioned from one romantic relationship (and friendship) to the next.Everything Debra Ollivier touches on was indeed what I witnessed. These French women(ranging in age from 28-49) (From areas: Paris, Bordeaux, Lyon, Orléans, Nantes, Marseille):1) Fashion style was classic, simplistic, yet incredibly chic and simply gorgeous.2) They possessed a genuine Joie de vivre and realistic sense of life /work balance.3) They purchased /ate/ cooked fresh foods religiously and did not eat snacks a lot.4) If they did snack, it was on fruits, nuts, cheeses, things like that.5) If they did have a big meal, they would plan to compensate for it usually the next day.6) They "ALL" had closets full of various types of beautiful lingerie and made a point to have a budget set aside, just for these purchases.7) They were well educated, extremely intelligent, very opinionated and had such an amazing uncanny way to fiercely disagree with your position on a matter while simultaneously loving and adoring you.8) In areas regarding relationships, they saw shades of grey and not American styled puritanical black & white limitations. They seemed to intuitively understand that life was about phases and experiences, not necessarily a "Happily Ever After" goal post to continuously seek. They were present and lived life truly in the moment.9) They held their cards close to their chest. With them it was not a "tell all" and "tell everything" about yourself session, the first couple of dates. They possessed an aura of mystery that literally fascinated me each and every time I spent time with them. To tell the truth, I'd say that's what probably kept me longing for them and wanting their company. Even if it was for simple fun intellectually stimulating conversation.10)Their laughter, humor, and way of not taking themselves so serious made them devastatingly beautiful. It was easy to see and understand why so many men fall for French women.It goes without saying, I highly recommend giving this title a try. Debra Ollivier's narration is simply wonderful. When mentioning various french women she spoke with, the french accent she uses is totally adorable.I think Jason Clarke said it best regarding French women: "You need mystery. You actually do. I think that's what foreign women, French women in particular, are good at. There's still a sense that you need to keep some of the unknown because that's where the soul resides, or something.

I, like many other reviewers, bought Ollivier's first book on the subject-Entre Nous. Since I enjoyed that book so much I decided to also purchase this one. Yes, it does have a lot of the same examples, HOWEVER, I felt that in this book she took those examples and went into much more detail on them so I didn't mind at all. While I loved Entre Nous, I found this to be the much better book because the informatin was clearer and more detailed.I read most books like this because I'm a graduate student with an emphasis on French culture AND I'm married to a Frenchman. Ollivier's book, to me, is the best that I have read in this genre, and the one that comes closest to real French culture (aimed at a normal, female audience and not scholars). I would recommend this book.

Oh my, what an absolute delightful romp thru French culture! The stark contrast between French and American women's views on sex and love intrigued me. The author is quite direct and includes humorous anecdotes and jokes. Historical and literary influence create an extraordinary culture mix to topics of body comfort, pretty-ugly, less is more aesthetics.

As a French decent who grew up in Canada, I was amused to read about French women from a North American perspective. I enjoyed the penmanship, and the mix of modern day France with bits of historical background. This book digs deeper than superficial clichés about French women which I greatly appreciated.

Whether you like the French or not, every American womon should read this to get a different perspective on love and living life, as I think the French perspective on relationships, concepts of beauty and age is much more realistic and healthier than ours. We tend to focus on shallow concepts of love and youth in this culture, which is absolutely insane and a detriment to women of all ages.

A friend told me about this book and I wanted to read it myself. Having lived in France for 5 years it all made a ton of sense to me, and actually....it changed my life in at least one albeit small way. I remembered the joy of heterosexual flirting, from way back when, before the era of women's lib and sexual harrassment that has made us all so serious and careful and anxious. This book reminded me that it can be fun to be a woman talking to man - in the checkout line, at the dinner table, and etc. A great read. And, possibly for you as for me, a great infusion of fun in the heterosexual world.

Reading this book felt like taking a trip with your funnest girlfriend. I learned a lot and laughed out loud the entire time.

I liked the comparison of American and French thinking. I am inspired to think more like the French than American.

I must agree with the other reviewer of this book - the cultural assumptions in this book are both annoying and patronising. Based on Ollivier's portraits of stereotypical American and French women I really don't see how British women could be lumped in with the Americans (who she makes out to be unstylish, uptight and gauche). Talking in these types of stereotypes, as we are, British women are actually more of a blend of the two. Is Ollivier aware that Britain is part of Europe?! She appears to have drawn a bold, cultural line with France and the rest of Europe on one side and every body else on the other. Apparently, European women are chic, intellectual, discerning, discreet to the point of coldness and are suspicious of other women. On the other side of the line are American and British women who don't know how to dress, can't invite ayone over without giving a guided tour of their whole house and live overly sanitised, dull sounding lives driven by targets and OCD. Oh, and we all eat crap, plastic food because we don't know any better. I don't know if American women are really like this (none of the ones I've known have been) and I've never known a french woman well so I can't comment but I really don't see how the British could fit into either category.I'm generally loathe to leave a bad review for anyone, never mind an author whose other work I like so much. Perhaps it is why this is such a disappointment. 'Entre Nous' is interesting and funny (if you can ignore the cultural assumptions which are still there but thankfully less prevalent)and I have read and enjoyed it several times. This one drags on a bit, though I enjoyed it more on my second attempt. I've given this book 3 stars as there are many great 'bits', it is just that the 'whole' is tainted by Ollivier's need to highlight the marvels of the French by having a swing at everyone else. I suppose I am just offended at having unflattering and inaccurate generalisations made about British women (and thus about myself and the wonderful women I know) by someone who has clearly spent very little time here at all!

This book contains no shocking revelations but it was worth my while to discover that the happily-ever-after romanticism that permeates North American culture has no place in French women's lives. Like other European cultures, the French are pragmatic about their love lives. They understand that when marriages don't thrive (or partners just get bored with one another) it is much healthier to have a discreet affair than to shatter the family by getting a divorce. As a result children are more likely to mature in stable environments and have realistic expectations about relationships. Their attitudes seem much healthier than the expectations of many North American girls who hope to find permanent happiness with the perfect man.

Das Buch hat mich überrascht durch mehr wissenschaftlichen Anspruch als ich durch Bild und Titel erwartet hatte. Einiges fand ich interessant. Der Schreibstil war mir persönlich jedoch nicht angenehm zu lesen und der Inhalt hat mich nicht genug begeistert, um es zu Ende zu lesen.

As I am French, I was at first surprised and then deeply intrigued when I first saw this book. Of course, I know that French and American are extremely different but I didn't know that books have been written about it. When I open it, it wasn't without misgiving as such a book must surely contain a lot of generalisations and clichés and as anyone who read this book must know by now, French people don't fit in moulds. In fact, we even deeply resent such an assumption. However, as I was quite curious about American culture, I decide to give it a try in order to see what exactly were those great differences.As we have many American films and books in France, I already have a good vision of American culture but only a superficial one; I didn't know the rules behind the behaviour. For example, I didn't even know about the "dating rules" or that such things even existed! Such a ridiculous things to do and quite incomprehensible for us. Of course as I am shy, I tend to be a bit insecure and rules can therefore be a bit reassuring, nonetheless I would deeply resent them as being a threat to my freedom. In the same way, it is true that French women don't want to be like each other or liked by everyone. We always want to be different and thus draw attention to ourselves and our originality.One thing I don't agree with is the author take on adultery. It's true that it is very present in our history, literature, films and culture and that in certain milieu open relation are accepted, however I don't see it at all as a generality. It is not something me or any of the women I know would accept with any complaisance. In fact it is a great insult directed toward the woman who is cheat upon. Of course some reconciliations can be made and excuse accepted but only on the tacit acceptance that such a thing will never happen again. Otherwise, there is divorce. The main difference with America may be that we would not drag religious problems in it. The bad person is not the women having a liaison with a married man (after all if she loves him, she can't help responding to his advances) but the man himself.It's true that marriage itself is not such a dream to everyone and that many couple are happy living together without getting married. In fact, such a period is recommended even before marriage in order to test your couple before committing yourself.As for what is said about flirtation and "dates" I think it is quiet accurate. In fact, I see people who want to know everything about me, even potential boyfriend as a threat. I don't like anyone to invade my personal space and if they do, I can only focus on throwing them out.In the same way it's true that we focus a lot on our leisure and on "having a life".Another thing which I want to underline, armpit hair are definitely NOT ok in France. Again, it depends on persons and education but most of us definitely find it disgusting und filthy. In the same way, about housekeeping, even if we are not as extreme as the American as presenting in the book (far from it), we still think it's important. Our house must be clean and look ok when we receive people. It's ok to have children toys, books or magazines lying around but not dust, that's unhealthy.On the whole, this book makes me put clearly what I already understand unconsciously about my own culture and think a bit about the American one. Even if there is a lot of generalisation (and I was struck by the fact that a great deal of the examples mentioned in the book are mostly found in one kind of social milieu, as are the author's French friends and the French writers she quotes), I found it mainly accurate and enjoy it a lot. I would recommend it to people interested in reading about culture differences.

Excellent book! Witty, written in an excellent manner. I enjoyed read it. Good insight in French society based on author's personal experience. Chapters: Men, Mystery, Rules, Perfection, Nature, Art de vivre, Body - each gives an French woman way of loving, living, seducing, enjoying...