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H**6
Great book even with one caveat
I found this book to be an eye opening experience. I was diagnosed two years ago with Asperger's and it has made me more conscience of the challenges I will/face.In particular, interactions with the "fairer sex". I used to view women as over-emotional, mercurial and irrational. This book clearly clarified that mistaken impression.I now have an idea as to "her" side of things. Overall, this is an excellent book. Its not one of those "how to pick up chicks" or so clinical that you can't really understand what they're saying.The book is framed in the manner of a couples counseling session with each chapter answer a question which came out of real cases.One of these was a question relaying an incident where the NT spouse catches the AS partner with porn and is threatening divorce. I found her solution that even after the AS partner stops looking at porn, tries to make things right and the NT spouse still won't have sex their AS partner that the only solution is to accept a sexless marriage/relationship.This just isn't realistic at all and I think her emotions got the better of her on this one. There just wasn't any compromise like there was in the other solutions. No maybe they should make their own movie or talking about it; just accept never having sex again. I mean Aston writes about this as if the NT spouse found out her AS partner was a serial killer or a homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with being gay). Aside from this caveat, READ THIS BOOK.
R**D
A High Value Book
I have Aspergers, I'm picky, and this book met my expectations by 80% or better.This book:* Really gives one a core sense of what matters to women in a romantic relationship.* Includes insight into specific relationship failures and obstacles experienced by both parties of Aspie-Neurotypical couples, including how they think, feel, and perceive these situations.* Provides specific suggestions on how to improve relationships for both Aspergians and their partners.The biggest thing I didn't appreciate in this book: at times the author's tone takes a completely progressive stance, legitimizing Aspergers as a different way of thinking rather than as weakness to improve. True, the spouse would do well to be realistic and patient, but I don't think they should just abandon all social expectation. I believe in progression.All in all, very good value; I don't buy very many books.
J**Y
Excellent book that will keep you referencing it over and over
As I have entered into a relationship with an AS man this book has been a huge help. I would recommend it to any woman that is scrambling as I was to find anything to help them. Add this to your library of guides and books relating to AS (Asperger’s Syndrome) and NT (Neuro Typical) partners. I loved the ideas it had for how to make things work and were these two people can come together to work on the relationship. It has humorous pictures with captions in it as well and this helps give you a laugh amongst all the info and guidance it gives as well as great research done by Maxine Aston.Thanks to all who made it so easy to access this book and have it at my fingertips to review. It is perfect when we get in the heat of the moment or meltdown as we NT with our Aspies say. It is a lifesaving book and I do get away in the heat of the moment and go to it re-reading it to calm down and step back to keep going in the tough times.
D**O
Not just for Aspergers Men, but for their Neuro-Typical partners as well
I am a woman married to a man with Aspergers. I purchased this book to better understand him and it certainly has helped me in that regard. What I did not expect, was to better understand myself as I have related to him. Chapter 14 "I feel like she purposely pushes me until I react and then acts the victim and blames me for getting angry. Why does she do this?", was a revelation for BOTH my husband and I. Whether you are married to an Aspie, or you are the Aspie, you will find yourself on these pages. Well written and insightful text makes sense of the sometimes baffling interactions between Aspergers men and their Neuro Typical women. Gaining understanding of the dynamics which take place in these complicated relationships is liberating and empowering. Highly Recommend it!
F**N
Every other paragraph is highlighted
Since I got this for my boyfriend (yes we're still together, what makes you ask?) we've been arguing over who gets to carry it around with them. He says this author could be the chronicler of his life. Up until now, I say, as we move ahead to her Couple's Workbook and turn some of these insights into real-world remedies.How refreshing to find that neither one of us took offense or felt invalidated by the author's narrative -- him as an Aspie, or myself as a woman with Mixed Cluster B Personality Disorder In Recovery. Just two star-crossed neurodivergent misfits looking for a self-help text that doesn't leave permanent scars. This is not something you find every day in the mental health world of prejudice, condescension and psychophobia; all of which I am v. sensitive to, and none of which I could find within these fine pages. Best of all, the book seems to have given my BF a shot of self-confidence and grounded him in his own experience, once the initial shock of recognition wore off.
C**L
Better Informed
Though I think this book was primarily written for the person that has Aspbergers, it offers good information for others trying to learn about Aspbergers as well. There is valuable insight to how the person with Aspbergers approaches things, and views interactions. It is a book worth taking the time to read.
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