Awoken

Every once in awhile I come across a book that's so amazing and wonderful I want everyone I know to read it. And every once in awhile I come across a book so horrific and terrible that I warn everyone I know to stay as far away from it as possible. Very, very rarely do I find a book that manages to straddle both sides of the line, one that's so stunningly yet perfectly BAD that I want to push a copy towards my friends and go "you HAVE to read this garbage, it's hysterical!" Well, folks, "Awoken" falls into that category, and has won a special place in my heart. It is awful -- deliberately so, splendidly and gloriously so -- and so perfectly encapsulates everything wrong with the state of YA literature (especially the paranormal romance genre popularized by "Twilight" and its ilk) that it becomes downright hilarious.Andromeda Slate, aka Andi, is your average angsty teen girl who loathes having to move from sunny San Diego to drab and boring Portsmouth, Rhode Island. She's whiny and obnoxious, especially to her marine biologist parents and her best friends, the chipper and spunky Bree and the put-upon nice guy Vik. She thinks life can't get any worse... until she reads aloud from the fabled Necronomicon on a dare. Soon after, a new boy shows up at her school, Riley Bay -- a boy who has also shown up in her dreams. And Riley is hiding a horrific secret -- he's not human, but an eldritch being who has the power to end all existence, the dreaded Cthulhu! But Andi finds herself drawn to Riley anyhow, and soon their spark of interest ignites a firestorm of romance, conspiracy, and danger that could destroy humanity... and worse, break Andi's heart forever.This is pretty much an open secret by now, but "Awoken" is actually a parody of the paranormal romance genre, written under the alias of Serra Elinsen but actually penned by YouTube personality Lindsay Ellis and her friends to mock "Twilight" and its slew of copycat paranormal romances. (Look up the video series "50 Shades of Green" for more information.) Without this knowledge, it's easy to dismiss "Awoken" as yet another badly written supernatural romance, one that just happens to substitute Cthulhu for the usual vampire/werewolf/demon/angel/whatever love interest. And while this book strives to be as gloriously over-the-top as possible in every way, it's kind of sad to realize that there are just as over-the-top "Twilight" copycats that were meant to be taken dead seriously.All that said... "Awoken" is gloriously horrible. Every flaw and cliche of the YA paranormal romance genre is cranked up to eleven and ruthlessly mocked, from the creepy stalker love interest (who actually escalates to kidnapping in this book!) to the friends and family who want to separate the two lovebirds but are seen as villains by the protagonist, from the utterly helpless and personality-free protagonist whose entire existence revolves around the love interest to the love triangle involving a likable nice guy who ends up twisted into a villain by the whims of the plot. It revels in its own awfulness, never pulling punches or trying to pretend it's anything but a crappy and creepy paranormal romance novel, and somehow that makes it all the more glorious.Lovecraft fans will probably get their shorts in a knot over how this book treats the Cthulhu mythos, especially since some of the mythology of Lovecraft's work gets botched (perhaps deliberately?) along the way. As a fan of Lovecraft myself (though not nearly as hardcore as some), I actually enjoyed this work, and found myself grinning like an idiot at some of the references and at the thought of the Elder Gods and other entities of the Lovecraft universe being one big dysfunctional yet likable family. Cthulhu being a mighty entity struggling to hold onto his disguise as an ordinary teenage boy is utterly hilarious, and the sinister Nyarlathotep is actually halfway likable as the snarky, wisecracking Uncle Neil... and also serves as the story's token "too awesome for this story, why isn't the book about him?" character. The authors really pulled no punches in mocking "Twilight" and its ilk here...I usually don't bother to give badly written books -- even ones badly written on purpose -- five stars. But "Awoken" is a magnificent exception to the rule. It's a splendid mockery of the worst traits of the YA romance genre, as well as a playful ribbing of Lovecraft and other cosmic horror in the process, and while I found myself eye-rolling in places I was laughing as I was rolling my eyes. This is the kind of awful that leaves me grinning stupidly, like "The Room" or "Plan 9 From Outer Space," and is so wonderfully terrible that it deserves to be read by everyone who's ever wanted to throw a copy of "Twilight" or "Hush, Hush" or "House of Night" across the room in an angry frenzy. Now when are we getting that sequel...

Full disclosure: I'm a big fan of the person behind "Awoken," and that's why I wanted to read it. I'd love for it to gain a following, or at least become some kind of meme. That having been said, I wouldn't feel right about writing a misleading review. I'm kind of seriously broke right now, so I can't afford to buy many books, and I like to make the ones I do buy count. Ok, you got me: I review for Vine, so it's isn't really a problem for me. The fact that I live near a good library helps, too. But not everyone is so lucky, so without further ado...What did I think of "Awoken?" All in all, it wasn't bad. The idea of "Twilight with Cthulu" is wonderfully ridiculous, especially considering how it tramples all over the original mythology. A monstrous force of the universe indifferent to the fate of humans falling in love with an ordinary teenage girl? Somewhere out there, H.P Lovecraft is turning over in his grave. Or maybe he would've thought a parody of his works was hilarious, who knows? Yes, this is a parody; I don't think I'm spoiling anything by telling you that, because you'd have to be pretty thick to get through this book without realizing it for yourself. And it does have moments of hilarity. I hate pretty-but-meaningless prose with a fiery passion, and I love the way the book makes fun of it. When describing the eyes of Cthulu in her dream, our heroine, Andromeda, says "They were black but not black. All colors and no colors. shining and lightless, warm and cold, loving and hating, good and evil, joyous and sorrowful. It was like looking into two glistening orbs of eternity, except on a cyclopean creature of wonder." Great. I also love how Andromeda completely misses the point of her favorite novel, "Phantom of the Opera." She and Riley are as bland as they're supposed to be, but a few of the other characters are more lively: Bree, Andromeda's headstrong, quirky friend who is always stuffing her face Ms. Espitola, our campy femme fatale. And Uncle Neil, one of the Great Ones who owns a musty, run-down occult shop, is just as entertaining as I was promised he would be. I was worried that the book would be too hammy and self-aware to be any good, but actually, the hammiest parts are the best. I especially loved the last third, including a climax that utilizes almost every silly trope you can imagine.A lot of the time, though, "Awoken" sticks too close to the source material to really be entertaining. The plot is slow and not every eventful until the end (although I have to admit that I actually, unironically kind of enjoyed the part where Andromeda and Riley go to New York). It's funny the first few times Andromeda goes on about how perfect Riley is, how insignificant and unworthy she is, and how boring and worthless her life is without him. But it gets tedious fast. Actually, though, I felt like the book was a little too hard on her, even got a little defensive of her. Wait! Hear me out before you hit that down-vote button. There are a couple of scenes where she's inexcusably horrible to her friends and family. But most of the time, what she's being made fun of for is being blindly in love with Riley, letting him control her, and thinking she's better off dead without him. Basically, being a dumb teenager. Yes, I realize that it's mocking characters like Bella Swan, but the different context changes things. People find Bella obnoxious not just because she's a dumb teenager, but because the "Twilight" books totally validate her beliefs that she's destined to be with her first love and that she can't go on without him. In real life, it's easier to sympathize. First love really can feel like the be all, end all when you have nothing to compare it to. You can't really blame Andromeda for not loving Vik, either; you don't really get to choose who you fall in love with. And if she's known him since first grade, yeah, he very well might feel like a brother to her (though she is hopelessly oblivious to his feelings). Though I knew "Awoken" wasn't making fun of real people, I kept having to remind myself of that fact. It especially bothered me when it came to the somewhat abusive nature of the romance. (I will say, however, that I'm sure this wasn't at all intentional; from what I know of the person behind this book, she would never, ever claim that abuse victims are to blame for their abuse.)IN SHORT: "Awoken" certainly has its moments. It's familiar with the genre it parodies, and you can tell the authors had a lot of fun with some of the scenes. Some of the secondary characters are interesting and funny. The novel works best when it's at its most absurd. Unfortunately, too much of the novel sticks too close to its source material: uneventful plotting, lots of self-centered monologues. I also couldn't help feeling like the book was making fun of love-sick teens at times, even though I knew it was really just parodying characters like Bella Swan. But I enjoyed it pretty well overall. If you hate YA novels like "Twilight" and enjoy seeing them parodied, you might like this.

truely one of the greatest pieces of literature i have ever readyou can feel the love oozing from the pages

everything is perfect. i would recommend this to anyone. cthulhu's name is RILEY what else do you want. this book made me cry

Awoken is one of those novels that won't appeal to anyone. It's a self-aware parody of young adult paranormal romances with heavy lashings of Cthulhu mythos. Do these things appeal to you? If so, I could not recommend this book more!The novel is played absolutely straight, gaining its humour from its knowing use of genre cliches. Special snowflake heroine who would die without her love: Check. Brooding and controlling supernatural beau: Check. Stereotyping: Check. Heavy handed referencing back to classic literature: My God, Check. The story is atypical, taking more than a little from the Twilight mould (although Elinsen reports that she dislikes her work being compared to Twilight). It captures the tone so well that it could almost be read straight - I do think that if you're unfamiliar with Lovecraft's work you might be fooled into thinking that this is a serious attempt at urban fantasy fiction.The novel itself isn't really that accessible for people who haven't read The Call of Cthulhu as many of the characters and ideas that Elinsen references are not explained. If you're not familiar with the various monsters of Lovecraft's pantheon - a world of sleeping gods and doomsday cults - I think you'll have a hard time following this. If you are a fan, you need to be able to laugh at the ideas. This isn't a serious addition to the mythos and is riddled with errors (it seems that Elinsen perhaps intentionally didn't do her homework). It's just supposed to be taken for what it is - an absurdist concept.The characters are really what sells this story, particularly the relationship between Andi and Riley as all other character development is pushed into the background. Here, you have a teenager who is determined to keep the story romantic and always manages to turn the scene back to herself. She is woefully unable to see the bigger picture, fretting over whether or not Riley likes her during scenes when any normal person would be fearing for the survival of the human race. Riley, conversely, is a horrifying boyfriend. He's patronising, controlling and what he sees in Andi is never fully quantified. He always speaks in an overly dramatic and old fashioned way, rarely calling Andi by name and instead reiterating her insignificance to him with ever word.And then there's the author herself, who cleverly is also portrayed as a parody of the type of woman who writes these kinds of novels. The acknowledgements page was truly eye-opening, alone becoming one of the best jokes in the book as it talks of her quest to find a writing group that only offered praise for her work, her idyllic family life and her faith in an obscure religion. It's...wonderful. Just wonderful.All in all, this is everything that I'd hoped for and more. I really hope that the author(s) take this concept further.

If you're expecting twilight- then yeah the two main characters are definitely twilight.And the rest of it wasn't.It's so self aware it's brilliant and yet compared to the other stuff out there that is meant to be taken seriously- this is written so much better.In fact if it wasn't for the twilight tropes in the main characters it would have been fantastic to read.I really hope the author keeps going but runs away from twilight teen fiction paranormal romance and instead does just paranormal adventure in a modern world as I think she would have something.

I picked this up expecting to be entertained by awfulness and it followed through. Andi Slate is the bitchiest little brat of a teenage girl that I've encountered since Twilight, especially to her friends and parents, all of whom seem to be more more human and relatable characters despite having very limited screentime. She is also a total idiot. On the subject of the secondary characters, though, I especially enjoyed the references by Uncle Neil to other works such as Harry Potter and Supernatural. The Phantom of the Opera references were also entertaining.I also have to give praise to the plot. Especially in comparison to Twilight it was cohesive, it spanned the whole book and actually seemed to have pretty reasonable pacing.I only give it four stars because Andi was just too awful for me to really love the book. I read it once and will probably read it again, but even for entertainment value it's not going to be a favourite.